Weekend

I've had a terrible time since going to the dentist. I have been vomiting ever since an hour after getting the tooth pulled and I know it is from the infection in the roots but I haven't been able to hold anything down to take the antibiotics with. I did just eat a little cheerios and take one but I don't know... I'll have to go to the ER and get a shot if I don't get this under control.
I have Jenise and Robby and Trace and have to figure out how I am going to pick up Jeremy and then get all of us to Jessalynn's party later. I have no clue right now what I am going to do.
Jami and Kirk had a good visit with Kira. I'm pretty sure Kirk is going to have to turn himself in Monday.
Nothing else.

Kira 1 Year Check up

Kira had her 1 year check up today and got six shots and had her blood drawn to test for lead. They say there is a problem with lead in the Omaha area. Her iron count was a little bit low, too. The doctor prescribed vitamin drops, said she was too young for the better tasting gummy ones, and she is to eat more red meat with her three teeth.
Jess and I had our shrink appointments today at the same time. I sometimes wonder if Dr. Jahari is really helping Jess but she seems to believe in him so hopefully that will do the trick... Well, unless he is really bad, then he could really screw her up. I just feel like sometimes he convinces her that she is more mental than she really is but it could be that I don't really know how mental she is. She is a hard one to figure!!!
We rushed home to get Jeremy to work on time and stopped at the dollar store to get a few things for Jessalynn's surprise birthday party Sunday and then we stopped at Burger King for a snack. The tooth I had a band on really hurt when I tried to eat a burger and I decided it was time to do something about it. We went and picked up the girls from school and I took Jess and her kids home and Kira and I headed for Emergi Dental. Dr. Scott Green, who I had seem years ago and then been unable to find again, ws working there again. He talked to me about the things that could be done to maybe repair the tooth again and I told him to just pull it. I had begged Jess to watch Kira for me but she wasn't up to it so I had her with me in her carseat and I just wanted to get it done fast and over with. The whole problem with the tooth started with Medicaid refusing to pay for a crown so the root canal went bad. It maybe couldn't have been saved no matter what and I haven't been able to chew on that side for months.
We left the dentist and went to K Mart to shop for Jessalynn's birthday, she asked for clothes, and Kira w3s really sick of being in the carseat and starting to cry so we came home. I have to go get my prescription for antibiotics after Jeremy gets off work.
I'm in quite a bit of pain right now. The good thing about a bad toothache is that I don't feel the back pain...
Yesterday Ashleigh made a big deal about having a check to get some bus passes for Jami and Kirk to visit Kira and then today she gave them each a book of just ten tickets!!! Jami called and told me, frustrated and crying. I told her I had expected something like that and that I would buy her a bus pass when I get my check next week. Kirk is going to jail Monday to serve his 90 days for not paying restitution on that wreck last year.

Another Nutty Day

I thought I got a good start this morning getting up in time to get the girls to school. I dropped Jessalynn off before I picked up Jenise because Jessalynn hadn't eaten breakfast and when I was dropping off Jenise my phone alarm went off reminding me that I had a 9:30 appointment with Dr. Perry. I rushed home and grabbed the Whisp toothbrushes and got to Dr. Perry's ten minutes late still wearing the clothes I slept in that had Taco Bell sauce on them from a midnight snack.
Dr. Perry explained that he is actually an anesthesiologist who has spent the last fifteen years working with injecting a steroid mixture into the hardened scar tissue around injuries to relieve pain and free up movement. He examined me and found many place that were hardened (surprise surprise) and I agreed to try a series of injections twice a week along my spine, neck, and legs. The needle didn't hurt too much going in and then he dug around in each spot he chose feeling for hard places beneath the skin and he would inject those places which was a little uncomfortable but not unbearable with some deep breathing. He injected three places on the right side of my spine and told me to go to Jay, my physical therapist, to have Jay work the injections through the tissue. I dashed home and changed clothes before going to see Jay, who I had forgotten to call and tell I was having the injections today, but he still saw me. Now THAT hurt!!! It felt like Jay was digging in fresh wounds. I guess he was.
I went from Jay's to pick up Jessica and take her to Great Western bank to try to open an account but they wouldn't let her because of some report US Bank turned in on her. (GW bank said that USB was notorious for doing that to people.) Oh, and Jaz had been crying all day like she was in pain so I took her and left her with Jeremy before taking Jess to the bank.
I took Jess home and went to Jeanette's to take Robbie to the doctor. Robby is still running a 104 degree temp!!! And this time the doctor seemed almost as concerned as we have been now that he has been sick like this for 11 days. She said that if he is still running the fever tomorrow to call and they would send him to the University Hospital to have some more tests run. We are all terrified for our little guy and he is such a trooper. Robby has lost five pounds since his last doctor visit three days ago and it shows in his face. He is subdued but still smiles and plays some, unbelievable with how sick he is. He kept asking to go home with me and I kept saying he could as soon as he was well and then I thought about it and told him that he could come over this weekend even if he is still sick and Grandma will take care of him. That got a big smile.
On the way back to Jeanette's I was in terrible pain and Jeanette found my Home Care instructions and read that I wasn't supposed to be lifting anything or doing anything but resting. Oh.
I got home around five and Jaz woke up from a nap with a 101.9 temp so I called Tibbles office and left a message for the nurse to call me. After going over all of Jaz's recent illnesses and medications the nurse told me to take Jaz to an ER. I had to pick up Jessalynn from Girl Scouts at seven-thirty so I decided to take Jaz after taking Jessalynn home.
We found out today that the GS Cookie orders were due tonight and she hadn't been able to sell any yet with everyone sick and everything but Patrick got on the phone and took orders for 88 boxes and I sold enough to get it up to over a hundred boxes of cookies so she could win a prize. I picked up Patrick's order and got to the scout meeting right before it was over. Jessalynn was a little sad that it wasn't like last year and that she wasn't getting the prize she wanted but then her troop leader, Miss Jessica, asked her what she had hoped to win and told her that she would buy it for her at the Girl Scout store this weekend. She is an absolutely incredible troop leader!!
I took Jessalynn home and came home to get Jaz and after thinking about it realized that there was no way I could take her to the ER. I can't carry her at all today so Jeremy had to take her. We have never let him drive with one of the kids in the car because he is a really bad driver but I sent him to the Methodist Emergi Clinic right down the road so they should get there and back OK. They left about a half hour ago. I think most likely that her run of antibiotics, which she finished yesterday, didn't get rid of the double ear infection. I certainly hope it doesn't turn into a mystery like Robby!!
I am in terrible pain. I'm not sure right now if I can go through with this treatment but I'll at least try a few sessions before I give up. I was not ready at all for the amount of pain I would be in tonight although I don't know if it would have been better if I hadn't spent the whole day running around after getting this first one. I'm supposed to be resting and icing it.
Maybe I should get to that now.
Say a prayer for my sick babies.

A better day

Today went better than yesterday, not saying much!, even though Jeremy woke me up when he got off work at 1:30 and I never went back to sleep.
Still very worried about Robbie. His temp was 104 today and still no clue why. I plan to go with Jeanette to the doctor tomorrow and try to demand that they run a few more tests.
I got the girls to school on time and did all of the little things on my list for the day. Jami and Kirk couldn't make it for their visit or the Family Meeting today so it is rescheduled for tomorrow although they have court tomorrow at 1:30 for the Child Endangerment charge.
Kira is still not feeling well. She has an appointment with her doctor scheduled for Friday so if anything develops from the RSV hopefully it can be addressed then.

Jaz Home

Jaz went home to Mommy today. She is doing better with the steroids and Mommy was missing her. Jaz ran from me when she saw me get her coat but then came running when I said we were going to see Mommy. Too cute.
So it back to just Kira and me here. I no longer have to be within Kira's line of sight all of the time. She goes off to play in the Kid Room and everywhere now. She says two words, "ow" and "thank you" and she has one top and one on bottom. Kira is walking more and more but still crawls when she is in a hurry. Too cute.
It is "No Carb" day of my diet. (Not cute at all) I don't have a full blown panic attack on no carb day anymore but I still don't like it. I could never go on one of those strictly no carb diets.
Jeremy picked up a nice dining table and chairs that I took over to Jeanette's today. The kids were so excited to see it!! They want to sit down to meals with Mom and Dad like they haven't been able to before.
Tomorrow is Family Meeting Day with CPS. I am getting ready for the visit tonight. I'm always a little nervous when CPS visits and more so on Family Visits because no less than three CPS workers usually come. I go through the house over and over making sure everything is as child proof as I think and get rid of all the sign of the wild parties I throw. Just kidding.
Kira is asleep. I should get busy.

Jaz ER Again

Another one of "those" days.
Jami and Kirk came for their 11 o'clock visit and I took Jaz to the ER when it was over at 1. The last time I took her to Tibbles he considered putting her on steroids again but then decided to wait and see how she did. I called the clinic and told them she wasn't getting any better and asked if I could have that script for steroids. The nurse told me to take Jaz to the ER and I tried to argue explaining Tibbles had already talked about putting her on Prednisone and she got all snippy and said I would have to take Jaz to the ER for that. When I got to the ER they put us through first since Jaz was having trouble breathing and then when I told the doctor about calling the clinic she wanted to know why Tibbles didn't just call it in instead of exposing their ER to RSV and Jaz to everything else there. I dunno. I stopped at Walmart on the way home and got home at almost 6 pm.

Thursday Wee Hours

Can't sleep. Jaz, Jessalynn, and I have been sick with a baaaaad cold and Nett's kids have it, too. Jessalynn and Jenise haven't been to school this week and Jaz, of course, is having extra trouble with this virus on top of her asthma and having a double ear infection. Yesterday she threw up and I gave her some peppermint water to settle her stomach and then we noticed red blotches on her face. I called Dr. Tibbles office and they said to bring her in. Her eyes were all puffy by the time I got there and I was afraid she was developing an allergy to the antibiotics for the ear infection but Tibbles said he thought it was an allergy to peppermint. Then he heard her cough and said that her cough sounded like RSV and he was very sure of that diagnosis. He said to start nebulizing her every four hours. The rash cleared up but her cough has gotten worse and worse. Then today I noticed her chest retracting when she inhaled and called Tibbles again. They said that if breathing treatments didn't control the retracting to take her to the ER. We've kept it under control so far but I didn't take her home because Jess doesn't have a car and it is hard for her to do the breathing treatments alone. It often takes both Jeremy and me to hold her down for them.
Jami and Kirk came for their visit today. I noticed that Jami kept her winter scarf on for the two hour visit in this hot, steamy, house and I got a peek at her neck and saw the fresh tracks. Chere noticed, too, and called Ashleigh but I don't know what was said or done. Likely nothing will be done. Jami and Kirk both looked pretty rough and Jami fell asleep for a while on the bean bag chair during the visit.
Kira somehow isn't sick yet and I hope she dodges this bullet like she did the last time all of the kids were sick.
Jaz was feeling pretty good for a while this evening and it was so cute watching Kira and her playing. They emptied the pots and pans cabinet like they like to do and they each had a pot and one would hold her pot over her face and make funny noises in it and then the other laughing at themselves. I love to see how they are starting to love each other.
Jeremy was supposed to start a second job at JimmyJohns today and I talked him out of it. I think two jobs is just too much for him, he has been really sick for quite a while and we have no clue what is wrong yet, plus I really need him home during the days to help me get through all of the things I have to do for us and the kids. He was upset about me interfering with what he wanted to do but he gave in after a lot of pleading. It's just al bad time in a lot of ways for him to get all ambitious.
I am excited about the diet Cheri told me about and am already starting to lose weight. It is Day one, no carbs, Day two, 1200 calories, and Day three whatever you want to confuse your metabolism. No carb day is the hardest for Cheri and me, I almost fast on that day but I am starting to plan ahead for the day and it is getting easier. It is unbelievable how many things have carbs!!!!! This is the first time in a looooong time I have been hopeful that I might actually get back down to a size 11!!!
I've been having terrible back trouble. The pain, even with meds, is almost unbearable at times with nerve pain shooting down my legs to my heels and many other pains. Tomorrow I am seeing a specialist Dr. Gold recommended who is supposed to do injections in my back that Dr. Gold thinks will help.
The Missionaries stopped by today to give me a blessing, also prescribed by Dr. Gold, but Jaz was having a bad time and I asked to do it another time. They pressed and said that it wouldn't take long but Jeremy didn't want them in with Jaz crying and Idol on so I asked if we could do it in the hall. The Elders laid hands on me and asked for me to be healed and I admit I felt good while they did it, I just wish they weren't LDS. NO, that isn't quite it. I do love the Mormans individually but I just cannot accept all they teach, Joseph Smith etc,. as the whole Truth or, indeed, any Truth. I don't think any church today has a grip on the whole truth although the Quakers come the closest but I think the LDS are way out thee with their beliefs and rituals. I would have felt the same pleasure to have anyone pray and lay hand on me right now!! Of course they said that the peace I felt was proof of their divine religion and I am happy for them that they have that much faith in their church, even if I find it misguided, and I am grateful that they took the time to come and share their blessing. I just so much wish they would make their ways of life their religious focus instead of Joseph Smith and his Book of Morman but that could never happen.
I loaned Rob $100 today to have a nasty tooth pulled and hope that getting that out of his mouth will make him feel better all over.
We talked to the woman with the Blazer for sale finally today and she does still want to sell it but can't right now. I just hope it happens before the Lumina gets repossessed.
I think that is the update for now.

Saturday Evening

Ahhhh what a day!!! I got a couple of hours sleep and have been bleary all day. Trace went home a little while ago and I am hoping to somehow get a nap before Jenise and Robbie get here and Trace comes back for the night.
I got the house cleaned up for the CPS visit but Jami and Kirk didn't show up because they forgot what time they were supposed to be here. Cheri is getting a little upset at their not showing and showing up late because she wastes time and loses money. I think she is turning in an unfavorable report on them. I do defend them that it is hard for them to get here from Council Bluffs but I also think I would make the visits if it was my kids no matter what. BUT then again, this whole thing just doesn't seem to be taken seriously by anyone. I really don't think CPS cares if they are rehabilitated or not. They just go through the motions and will eventually give Kira back to them no matter what unless they do something catastrophic like kill someone.
I feel half dead and am throwing up just because I am so tired. I usually don't feel my age except when I am sick or don't get to sleep.
OK. I'm going to lay down with the babies.

Saturday Morning

Lisa was released from the hospital yesterday. Both of her ankles are badly broken and they sent her home to take care of herself and her five year old son. Jess and I went to her house right after she got there and I left Jess to spend the weekend and then I went to get her 17 prescriptions. I had to leave Ralston and go back later in the evening because Walgreens didn't have all of her meds ready. When I got back to Lisa's Jess had already made her home wheelchair friendly and even moved her fridge by herself. I'm pretty proud of her!!
Jaz was fussy all day and at eight her temp ws 103.7. I gave her some tylenol and got it down to 101 and then gave her some Ibuprophen, too.Then she wouldn't go to sleep last night so I took her to the ER at around 4 am. She had a bad double ear infection so they gave her numbing med for her ear and Amoxicilin. We got home around 6 and she finally slept. Natalie dropped off Trace at 8:30. Jeremy let him in and I got up at ten.
Now I have to get ready for Jami and Kirk's visit with Kira at 11.

Do I say it here???

Is it here I can say how I feel and what I think??? Not really. I don't want to hurt anyone who might come here that knows me ever again and the things I think and feel could hurt someone. Even a stranger who knows what I am saying or relates in any way.
There is no where no one to talk to except God.

I'm Baaaaack! A New Year

It has been so long since I have been here it no longer deserves the title of Daily Journal.

I just got Cricket Broadband. Been without Internet for over a year.

What a year.

Three grandbabies were born while I was offline. Jess had Jasmine in October 2008, Jeanette had Riley in November 2008, Jami had Kira in January 2009. I believe Dawn had twins in March of 2009 and Michelle also had Cherish in March 2009.Babies babies babies. Jessalynn's father, Patrick, also had a baby, Gage, a few months ago.

Kira is living with me right now. I am her temporary foster mother while Jami and Kirk clean up and get their lives together. They get four two hour visits a week and the visits go really well. I just hope they can do all they have to do to get her back. NOT that I want rid of her!!! She is a sweet little thing.

I still have the grandkids most weekends. Riley just came for the first time New Year's Eve, I think that was harder on Nett than Riley.

We're hoping to move next month if we can get into another place. I found a place that is closer to Jessalynn and Jenise's school and a hundred dollars a month cheaper but don't know if we will qualify for it yet. Well, I haven't even gone and looked at it yet either!!! If we're not having a blizzard it is dangerously cold out and I am not allowed to go anywhere without Kira so I don't get out much lately.

My nightmare biological brother made a fast trip up here last year to give Jeanette the car Joe Jolley left when he died. He acted all paranoid and terrified of me even though he is the last person on earth I would ever want to see and he has no clue how ridiculous he looks to people here who actually know me. He is used to his wide eyed listeners who he'll tell his stories to, and he is quite the story teller If you have all day to listen, and I can't believe I used to be one of his listeners.

OH, there has to be something better to write about.

I am often exhausted, over worked, stressed out, still in a lot of pain, and usually broke, but somehow I still think I have a very good life. It is all about the people I love and who love me.

Jeremy may have to stop working and file for disability. His doctor says it is time because he had a seizure at work and has been having breakthrough seizures more and more often. I haven't figured out how we will get through the waiting period after he files, it can take years like mine did, but I'm working on it. He is staying with his new buddy, Phillip, right now because CPS didn't approve of him living with me with Kira here but I expect Jami to get Kira back within the year.

We celebrated Kira's first birthday here yesterday. Maybe I will figure out how to add some pictures to this journal.

I have Jessalynn and Jazz here, too, right now and they all need my attention so this is all for now.

See ya.