August 26, 2020

Nine AM and it's a beautiful morning,  sunny and 70 degrees, birds and insects chirping, leaves gently rustling in a little breeze, no human voices, a great morning to be alive. 

All my life I've taken mental snapshots of life trying to burn them into my memory. Now in my old age what I remember is that effort, but most of the snapshots content are gone. It makes me sad but then I realize that I at least know that I had a lot of magic moments, that I have more memories of wanting to remember than wanting to forget. The fine details might be gone but I know I've had a good life. 

What is odd to me is that if I sit and tell someone my life story, if I honestly tell the events of my life, most people believe they are hearing a sad story. I see pity and even horror in their response. Maybe I'm just a poor story teller.  Maybe clouds just have more impact than silver linings. Maybe I'm just delusional that I have had a good life. 

I stopped telling my story years ago except in bits and pieces to the grandchildren and in journals like this. However my story is perceived I have to say that the little things, like feeling the magic of a beautiful morning, should convey a beautiful life that I am thankful for.

Back to School

Jessalynn's classes started Monday and Jazz and Kira started remote school today. I saw the little girl ett old a little while ago and they said they were having a good time, Jazz even said it was fun. 😁

I've made three trips to Lincoln getting Jessalynn set up. I believe she and Brandon will be fine on campus. Well, I still worry about Covid exposure there,  but they seem fine and excited to get in their college setting. It makes a HUGE difference that they are together there.

I've been messaging Joey. She starts college next week and will be much farther from home and doesn't know anyone else going there but she says she is very excited about going. Her father and siblings are helping her move so at least she isn't driving up there alone. She is the one I am most worried about! But I have a Lot of faith in her.

So, here's to a brand new school year!!

Jessalynn to UNL

 Yesterday we took Jessalynn to move into Harper Hall at UNL. Jessalynn rode with Pat and Jessica rode with me and both cars were full of all the things we could think of that she might need for her new life. My emotions and thought were overwhelming. First, just bursting pride that this amazing granddaughter was starting college, was about to live a dream she had held and worked for all her young life. My joy for her brought tears to my eyes along with the heartache that she was going away from me. Not just physically, but she was going on to a stage of her life that I had no experience in, going places I too had dreamed of but never reached. The positive evolution of our family. She is leading where I hope all my grandchildren will follow. 

I would be afraid for her under any circumstances going off on her own but Covid adds that extra fear that I can't even grasp, don't want to have to. Yes, a part of me hoped college would be delayed for the pandemic danger but I also didn't want to face her disappointment if Covid crushed her dreams. I had to pray that colleges would open and that she would be safe, bulletproof, like many idiotic leaders claim young people are. 

I am so very thankful I lived to see this day.