Kirk Charges

I don't know.  I'm told that Kirk is being charged with 2 people overdosing and dying from fentanyl. OMG I can't believe this is happening.  

One of them, maybe both,  but one for sure Kirk wasn't even around.  

I hope to be able to speak to his attorney next week. 

Jazz Kira School

The girls are supposed to start school at Macmillan tomorrow. I hate this. I NEVER wanted them to go to Macmillan but don't have a reliable car to take them to a better school.

AND there is the whole COVID th iij ng still going on. I really cant brlievecwe are expected to send them to school with the viral mutations making the world more and more dangerous. 

I could homeschool them and still might. The problem there is that these A and B students failed the 6th grade doing remote learning last year. 

I will let them attend at least a week and pray they survive it but very likely will pull them back out.

I should have helped them a LOT MORE last year.

I won't let them fail again if they have to remote or home school.

kirk update

I know a little more about Kirk's  situation. 

There was a sealed indictment for him since January that was unsealed when he was arrested last week. I still don't know the exact charges against him but 98% sure it is tied up with his associate Dee getting indicted over a year ago on drug charges. There were also possible manslaughter charges for three fentanyl deaths but I think those were dropped. 

I don4 know why they didn't arrest Kirk ssd sooner.  It wasn't a secret he was living here, this address is even on his state ID. One possible reason could be that they were watching him although Jami says that's not likely.  

The deal with living here was that he was NOT supposed to deal drugs but I believe he violated that deal. I would see cars pull up and Kirk go our to it and it leave and I would tell him that looked suspicious to me and he said it wasn't what it looked like.  I was planning to turn him in myself to protect my family before he was indicted.  I figured that if he wasn't dealing it wouldn't hurt him and that if he was I would protect the family. 

I can see parts of the indictment online but only legal professionals can access all of it. 

Jami hasn't been here since he was picked up. I keep looking but dont see an indictment for her. She says she was in jail when Kirk was with Dee but I remember her being around at least a week, with Kirk and Dee, before Dee was arrested. I even remember giving them a ride to a house she said Dee was renting not far from here. 

Whatever. There isn't an indictment for Jami. 

If Kirk was being watched since January then Jami was definitely seen with him. But then again I still dont know the exact charges against Kirk. 

He has been assigned a Federal public defender. I know it is all very serious but wait to know more. 

Snow Ball to Hell

So here I sit with little or nothing on the brink of actual disaster. Where can I say it started? Did it even Jeremy totaled the car? My car! Or did it just start like the rest of the country with this pandemic.

No car. A $600 disconnect on gas and water. Very little food. School starting less than a week with no way to get them to and from school, no school that they are enrolled in, no proper clothing for school or supplies, nothing but disappointing stories to tell the children. A new low for us or at least one not visited in a very very long time. 

Kirk Indicted

August 9th

Kirk was just arrested on a federal warrant, he was indicted but I dont know the charges. Hes in Sarpy County.

Jami disappearing again

Every now and then Jami will disappear for hours or days. It's often with Rizzo.

This Jami Kirk Rizzo triangle has gone on for over a decade. I don't know how Kirk and Rizz have dealt with this for all these years. They both love Jami and she may love them. Drugs have a lot to do with it all. Jami does seem to be with whichever can supply her habbit but also Kirk and Rizzo connect with each other for drugs too at times. It was over 10 years ago the first time I stopped by and the three of them were staying together in a one bedroom apartment,  even all sleeping in a big bed. No, there was never any threesome stuff, just high and passed out together. There is even a place in the room they built in the basement here that Rizz often stays in.

Everyone feels sorry for Kirk but also no one knows why he stays with her. 

We've all seen the pattern. They will be out of dope and Jami will start a fight with Kirk and then storm out and Rizzo will be waiting somewhere near and they take off. Kirk's grief is unbearable to be around when this happens! But he stays with her. 

This time she left in their truck early yesterday saying she was running to the gas station for cigarettes,  would be right back, and it's almost 24 hours later and she is still gone. I've been messaging her and get no response. About ab hour after she left I drove to the gas station to see if she was wrecked or pulled over along the way. 

Now it's the tension of worrying what will happen when she returns. 

She never really says where she's been. Sometimes there is a long convoluted story about broke down vehicles and dead phones.  Sometimes we have to deal with angry people coming looking for her because she took off with their money. This time it was Keetra showing up after midnight. Last time it was a very angry woman banging on our windows and doors. 

I never got an explanation or apology of any kind for that one.

I just don't get it. She does this with no care for how it upsets and even endangers all of us. I try to shield Kira from it but she knows. You can hear people through the vents in this house and all of the kids have heard the arguing when Jami returns or just arguments about drugs in general. 

I know she is a drug addict. I let her move in on the condition that there wasn't drug dealing or violence in this house. Really, it is that I KNOW drugs will kill her soon and I don't want the guilt if she dies on the street and I end up spending the rest of my life wondering if I could/should have protected her, done more.

Where is the Line?

When do i admit trying to save her does unforgivable damage to the rest of us? Especially the children?

Where the hell is she 

When will she return

What will happen when she gets here

?

2:00 am

Sitting on the porch listening to the insects chirp and the wind blowing through the trees. Nature sounds always make me think of life on the farm. The wind blowing through big trees is magnificent! There is a huge glorious tree across the street. I would love to have one like it in our yard!! I'd have a 2 level tree house in it and be sitting in it right now.

I Was

I remember feeling intelligent, accomplished,  necessary,  even brilliant at times. 

I have no clue why.