Friday

The CV joint broke in the car a block from the house today. We had the car towed to Midwest Automotive and fixed, a little over two hundred dollars for the tow and repair. We could have had it done cheaper by the neighbor but we needed it done ASAP and paid the price. This delayed us getting our apartment until next Tuesday because they are closed tomorrow and then Monday is President's Day.
I don't know how we are going to afford everything with this new disaster but we will get through it somehow. We aren't exactly totally unlucky ~ the car could have broke down at a lot worse times in a lot worst places. At least we were both there and could walk home.

Friday Morning

Maple View Apartments called us back and said we could have the apartment after all s today we go to pay the first half month and get the keys. Next month is free with the special they have going so we have a big break there.
Now there is soooo much to do. Packing this place and cleaning it out the best we can, getting rid of Brandy, finding out what to do with Asia if Jeanette won't keep her a couple of weeks until Jess has the money for her pet deposit, and getting the utilities put in our names as cheap as possible.
I'm so afraid we will fall on our butts. The car needs front end work and Jeremy still doesn't have a job and so much can still go wrong. Money will be our big problem as it has been for a long time. Jeremy has to find some kind of job no matter what it is!! But we are moving out of the ghetto and starting a new phase of life. That is a little exciting even though it is all so full of ifs. I'm pretty sure the car is running on prayers and so are we.

Wednesday Morning

I woke at four am and can't go back to sleep. I keep thinking about what we are going to do about a place to live. We went to try to get into the nice apartments we have a deposit on and they turned us down because of Jeremy's income. She said she would see what she could do since our deposit is non-refundable ad we will know by noon tomorrow but I doubt we will get it.
Sooooo, we can either move into the apartments where Jami lives and buy a gun, we've already shopped around for one and decided on a Derringer, or we could ask Kenny and Robin to move in with us. Neither plan is perfect. Jones Road would be a dangerous place to live and we would have to do something about Brandy (who might have just settled that problem because she just ran off when I let her out to potty) and the place is not so nice. We get along with Kenny and Robin well but there is always that fear of ruining a friendship by moving in together. My head just goes around and around with the question. We have to decide something by Friday when rent is due here.

Friday Night

The Omaha Steel job fell through and none of the others Jeremy has applied for have called yet except for one staffing place that sent him on an eleven dollar an hour job today and they want him back there tomorrow. Nice but not going to save our butts.
I've been looking at cheap apartments, even went to where Jami lives and put a one bedroom on hold but we probably won't take it since it is on the fourth floor. I went and talked to MAC realty today but they don't have any vacancies in the apartments I want and the one they do have is off of Ames, only $400 a month including utilities, but I forgot to ask about the deposit or the cats. If Jeremy had any kind of a job we could move into the apartment we chose when I thought we were getting section 8 for a two bedroom. That is what I really want but I'm pretty sure we are going to have to settle and take whatever is cheapest and hope to move up in the world ASAP.

Snowy Tuesday

We're having a snow storm that is making the streets really slick. I had to park about half a block away and walk home.
Kenny and Jim have both been talking to supervisors at Omaha Steel about them hiring Jeremy and we should know tomorrow if they succeeded in getting Jeremy the job. This job hunt has been gruesome with a lot of hopes shot down over and over. It's been terrible for both of us although maybe toughest for Jeremy because he is the one that keeps getting turned down. Also because he is the man and I'm disabled so he feels like he is failing to take care of us, too.
Jami and Kirk have been fighting for about a week and I think the drug use has been high, too. They were both calling me through it all until Jami broke their phone that they just paid for. I think Kirk should call it quits and give up the war. Jami talks like she hates him most of the time and their neighbors say that Jami is starting the physical fighting so her Bipolar condition is likely playing a big part in what is going on. She also has a man on a rescue Jami mission, her new boss, Jim. He wass frantically searching for her last night and when he found her at Creighton ER he took her to his apartment complex and put her up in an apartment there to keep her safe. This is a married man but I think he is under Jami's spell for now.
It is nice having our house to ourselves. We've been living with someone or had someone living with us for the last three years. Jess still has some stuff here and we have to clean out the basement of tons of trash left behind but the upstairs has been clean for three days now. :-)
We are considering moving to some apartments across town but I'm still not sure we can afford it.

Saturday

I'm in a foul funk of a mood. Yesterday OTC called and said they won't be hiring Jeremy after all because they found the shoplifting charge in his background check. My head is just spinning with trying to figure out what to do. We can't afford to stay here even if we took in someone to split the bills, definitely can't afford the apartment I wanted, not even sure we can afford to move over where Jami lives. I'm thinking about putting everything in storage and moving to the homeless shelter but I think they will take all of my disability check if we do. Jeremy barely comprehends our situation, I have to explain it to him over and over and listen to him whine about all the things we can't have or do. We got his income tax return and he was dismayed to hear that I plan to fix the car with it but having the car running is a huge priority. To top it all off I am having some kind of back pain crisis that has me laid up so I can barely walk or drive.
I feel like the only grown up who understands what is going and it is a lonely feeling. I feel trapped in this broken body and stuck in a situation I can't do anything about. Helpless. Hate that! Can't shut off my thoughts spinning around and around trying to find a way to survive and not lose everything. How to buy enough food to survive and a place to live. I'd live in the car for a while but it is too cold still to consider. And it's a pretty small car...