Editing

So if I go back and edit a post it reposts with the current date??!

That Sucks.

My Cousin Michelle

I just mailed a letter to Michelle in Wisconsin. I sincerely hope we can Really connect. We share the distinction of being the family Black Sheep. That alone should help bond us!! We both also seem to really need someone in our lived. That is most likely what will join us.

I remember Shelly being the favorite of the grandparents but I don't remember resenting her for it like her sister and others did. I happened to agree with Grandma that Shelly was awesome, and definitely the most beautiful of all of us!! 

I didn't see her a lot over the years,  mostly heard gossip from our self righteous family and she likely heard the gossips about me. I tried to connect with her after Steve and I split up but the Mike cut me completely off from the Kiser family for over 10 years and I lost her again. 

Maybe we will meet and dislike each other. But maybe we will be exactly what we each need to finish our lives.

We have decided to start with old fashioned letter writing, something we both enjoy and actually remember how to do! But ultimately I plan to see her. I consider flying her here but with my household I'm thinking I should try to get to her. It would be just Us there. She doesn't have a car. I will have to arrange a flight and then transportation once there but I am looking into it. 

My oh so very dependent household will have to figure out how to survive, something I try to get them to at least consider with my age and health failing.  Perhaps it will be their reality check. 

I want to see Michelle❣❣

September 13, 2020

Jeremy and I went to Lincoln to take Jessalynn some of her winter things and visit. We stopped at Buckeys for gas and drinks and walking out of the store I fell in the parking lot. Fell Hard. People came running and I couldn't get up so I laid there and screamed for Jeremy who was pumping gas. He picked me up assuring everyone he could take care of me while a woman started to pick up the spilled drink and things that scattered everywhere. I went down on my left side, felt like my knee and elbow were bleeding, my ankles were twisted, everything hurt!! Jeremy put me in the passenger seat and went in to get me a fresh drink while I struggled to get in the driver's seat. That caused exactly the blow out I expected but I could in no way picture riding with Jeremy driving!! Everyone who has ridden with him or viewed one of his totaled cars would understand that even if they didn't agree in this instance. I sat my ground.  Let him tell and kick the car until he eore out and got in the car. Then it started again when I declared I was still headed to Lincoln. Yes, I'm very stubborn. Dusnt even argue that point!! I tested my legs and feet and found I could still work the clutch, brakes and gas and I headed to Lincoln.

One reason I did was the fear that the next day would be the worst. Sometimes after an accident the next 4 days are actually progressively the worst.

And I wanted to see Jessalynn. 

Painful, but it was a good trip. I couldn't get inside to their dorms but Jessalynn and Brandon came down. She went through the tub of winter things we brought and selected what she needed and then we took them for dinner. Went to a place called Schumacher's they had been to with Brandon's dad, I th iij nk maybe we found our Lincoln restaurant! and then i drove us to Walmart and Jeremy took the kids in to get supplies to last till our next visit. 

It is always just a Joy to spend time with Jessalynn and Brandon!!!

While we were waiting for our food at Schumacher's I got a surprise call from Cousin Michelle. I had found an old Facebook page of hers last week and messaged that I would love to see her, didn't really expect a response, and she video calked!!!! I would answer Very Few calls while with the kids but knew I Had to take this one!! Michelle was So excited to be in touch!! We only spoke a few minutes but she told me she is all alone in this world in Wisconsin, disowned and abandoned by our family, that she tried to hang herself recently and Really needed Someone. I told her I would call when I got back to Omaha.

We connected around 10 pm. 

Michelle and I have spent very little of our adult lives together or even in touch. Even as we were kids growing up we seldom saw each other. We would both be at Grandma's in Kansas for some holidays and we both spent a summer there when I was 11 but that was pretty much it. Once when my family lived in Santa Maria and her family was also in California they came to visit for a day. All I remember of that is seeing pictures of all of us playing in the back yard.

Funny, I Felt much closer than to my cousins! I thought about them all the time, eavesdropped on any conversations about their family. I always thought Aunt Bonnie was one of the most beautiful women I knew and she was clearly my father's favorite sibling. Aunt Bonnie has 5 kids one after the other and the 2 girls were only 2 and 3 years younger than me. I always dreamed of having a sister so Michelle and Cindy were often my imaginary sisters.

Foxes

A couple of months ago I saw a fox for the first time. It ran across Ames Street one day in front of the car. I was glad Jeremy was with me and saw it, too, or I might have thought I imagined it!! After over 30 years in the midwest and almost 10 years on the farm I never saw a fox before. Then last week I saw another one run across Military Road coming home from Lincoln with Jessica. How odd!! They were both running very fast and just beautiful. I've heard that the Covid restrictions we live under has positively affected the environment and wildlife so I wonder if it has anything to do with these sightings??

Tues September 8, 2020

Our first cold day. Its welcome after some pretty intense heat but a chilly reminder that Winter Is Coming. 

It seems like there haven't been many real winters since I lived on the farm.  They were more intense because of our isolation but I believe they were actually much colder,  too. I remember blizzards in May and September and mountains of snow and every year I think maybe this one will be bad like those. 

I love fall. Have always loved fall.  In Texas it was always so welcoming after the blistering heat of summer. I would feel almost euphoric every autumn. After we moved to th he midwest I learned to appreciate the spring,  that first day above freezing and then the beauty of everything coming back to life but fall is still my favorite. 

And maybe,  maybe this year we'll have a Real winter again.