Shy's 15th Birthday Party

Shy's 15th BD party is at an air bnb. Jazz and Kira left yesterday to go. We all feel how empty the house is without them. I can't imagine how empty my life would feel without them! I don't  think I ever imagined living this long but if I did I didn't imagine grandchildren being the center of my life. Steve and I had a vague plan of living our retirement in a Winnebago camping around the country. I pictured a traveling life when I met Jeremy. Never this and thank God there is This. Many days I feel old, useless, meaningless,  wonder why I am here, blind that Why is right in front of me.

My family is my World.

Post Covid here

 We are 5 days past the last positive covid test here so for now Jasmine and I are safe. 

How did it miss us, the most vulnerable? Jazz was extremely cautious.  I was not able to be nearly as cautious, as the only well adult I couldn't stay holed up. Divine interference?? Super immunity even though I was overdue for a booster shot? 

Thank God. Thank immunity,  thank fate, we survived.

4th of July 2022

 It sounds like a war zone when u aren't part of it . We have three here with Covid, Lindsey,  Jeremy and Jessica.  

It's weird to b the only adult standing and I can barely stand. I don't know how well get thru this. If I go down, then what?? Who can protect Jasmine?? I asked if Nett would take her and she didn't respond. 

I've seldom felt so very alone and weighed down.