Pending Disasters

 House and car going to blow up,  need to make sure insurance is paid up....

My car needs a new head gasket and whatever changing that entails.  The natural gas leak here is getting much worse. I have gas and electric shut off notices.  But

I goy my chest CT results and the "suspicious spot" is not at this time cancer.  But if I died my life insurance would pay everything off...  

Win some, lose some.

Jeanette says Jordan will fix my car.  Yes, The Jordan who was fixing my van transmission for $500 that I had to pay someone else $5000 to replace.  Maybe I won't pay him in advance this time...

Lindsey and Annabella came this morning with Adonis for the dog walk at Mile Park.  That went OK, Adonis didn't eat Gabby, Nova, or Me. 

Another day in the neighborhood. 

Winter is back!!

They even canceled school today and it hasn't even started to snow yet! Our area is expected to get 6 inches!! I bet we don't be we are preparing just in case.   

I'm working on the basement drain again today.  Jami left a few days ago saying she would return the next day to fix the drain... I have shop vacked out the laundry room several times.  Last time I even got the standing water around the edges of the room.  It is all nasty mold everywhere.  When I am clearing the drain down there I am very careful about not taking the mold thru the basement, wiping my feet on a towel soaked in bleach whenever I leave the laundry room.  I KNOW no one else is even that careful.  I'm going to have to mop the path from the laundry room to the bathroom,  and probably everywhere! with bleach when/ if this is ever over.  Jami says that the floor drain doesn't go directly to the Main Drain,  that the clog is between the laundry room and the main line that runs from the toilet to the street down there.  I'm suctioning the standing water over the floor drain again and then putting in a drain cleaner that Toby recommended and praying that works.  Yesterday I got that drain completely empty and when I stuck the shop vac hose in the drain it sucked up a large bolt.  ?? What the hell else is down there? I bought a drain cover for the floor drain when we moved in but have often gone down there and found it left uncovered.  Whatever.  It is a hell of a lot of work for me to clear the drain!! I bought a 3 Gallon shopvac but it sure doesn't seem to take up 3 gallons!! I've been emptying it into a 5 gallon bucket and carry that to dump down the toilet down there.  I can fill it with 2 shopvacfuls and could fit another 1 in the bucket except that would make it too heavy for me to safely carry.  So. I can't believe this is really a 3 gallon shopvac!! I'm buyout great at math but I shouldn't be any to empty it even 2 times into my 5 gallon bucket.  

Time to get to it.  I HATE THIS So Much!!!! 

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe this might work???

What I said

 I did try to have the talk with Robby.  I told him that there was No Way he could be in the right to fight with his mom because she really does not have to put up with it.  That he is almost 20 years old and his mom shouldn't be supporting him when all he does is play video games.  He started with the Everyone Treats Riley differently and I said Of course we do! you guys are different people and Riley is 2 years younger. I said everything that everyone has been saying about his situation and tried every way I could think of to make him hear me.  But he really didn't.  I could see him shutting me out,  I could see him working hard to keep a neutral face,  and then he said,  I don't know what to say that you would understand, and I said,  No, you know that I WOULD understand,  and then that I would tell you that you are wrong, and Part of you KNOWS that you are wrong! so you don't say it out loud.  I told him that he had to go back home and make things right with his mom.  That there is No Excuse for the way he has treated Jeanette and that he needs to learn to at least Act grateful that she still houses him.  

Robby might have an undiagnosed mental issue but it all Feels like just a terrible attitude. He acts 100% entitled and really doesn't see that that attitude is groundless. He has No Ability to Feel The Room because he is so wrapped up in his self pity and what he believed is righteous anger.  I struggling to even find words to describe his aura. He came here for refuge carrying with him the attitude that His needs should come first.  Example.  We told him that he had to keep his dog with him at all times here and when Lucky tried to go into Jess's room and Nova snapped at her Robby said that Jess needed to put up a gate to contain her dog! That is a clear little example of his thinking. He had the nerve to go through Jami's things, and not only helped himself, but judged the things she had.  Wrong words. Ok. He brought several cans of cat food upstairs that he found in her room and said,  'Look at what Jami has hidden in he room!' I said, 'What? She buys those for her cat!' He said,  'No, these were definitely hidden in her room!' I again said,  'SHE BUYS THOSE! She has No Reason to hide them - THOSE ARE HERS!' Yet he Insisted that she was doing something wrong with them and  he Would Not back down.  I just told him to stop going through her things and I had to run to the store and Jess told me that he went right back down there as soon as I left! WTF??? And he was helping himself to things.  Jess saw him carrying something upstairs and he hunched over whatever it was and turned away from her trying to sneak it past her and hid it in his things. WTF?? I don't think he even understood that he was STEALING from Jami.  Yes. Lindsey looked through Jami's things and took things that were hers, and a few things that she found out were not her things, and Lindsey brought those things back.  Lindsey clearly didn't feel entitled to Jami's belongings and she is Jami's daughter who Might rightfully feel like he mom owes her something.  Jami doesn't owe Robby a damn thing! No One does. Not even his mother. And that is a really the tough one for Robby to grasp. Yes. Jeanette,  like ALL moms,   has made mistakes.  But Robby's current situation is the result of His Own mistakes.  HE chose to stop going to school. HE chose to sit there not working in the YEARS since then.  I had thought for a while the he has to feel something, like at least feel left behind,  when the younger little girls in the family passed him up working and buying nice cars. I was prepared to try to make him feel better about that,  make him see the he could still 'catch up' if he started behaving properly with his mom so she could continue to help him while he got his shit together.  But I had that all wrong. He doesn't really feel left behind by the girls working harder for their futures.  He seems to think that the girls just had more help than he did.  I don't think at that Robby even believes that Jazz and Kira saved and bought their own cars.  He didn't Say It but I really think he believes that I secretly helped them.  Kind of like how it has seemed like Robby has just been sure that I have a lot of money the he is entitled to and not being given his Fair Share of. I bought them all computers when we got the settlements.  I had to exchange some of them including his. At the time Robby told me not to replace his,  the he really would rather have $200 for a new bed.  I sent him the money.  He still feels like I owe him a PC. It has come up several times in different ways. WTF. I say that about So Many situations wit him! W T F. I do have a deep feeling of pity for him,  mostly that he if So Lost in SELF pity that he has crippled himself.  

Again. There could  be a mental issue behind a lot of this.  Jeanette took him to Dr Jeffrey to try an antidepressant because he is definitely depressed.  But a lot of his depression springs from his strange attitude about his life. Where does That come from?? He should be in therapy but I doubt he even takes the antidepressant. Jeanette did put him in therapy a few years ago but he didn't like it,  didn't want to do it,  which makes it hard to make progress.  And I haven't met many therapists who are any good.  Who seem to really be trying to help instead of just getting a pay check.  Who seem to care.  I spent years in therapy after Steve left to buy cigarettes ant the only one who stands out was a meditation therapist. Not because she was so good but because what she was teaching was so valuable to me.  Robby needs one with some skill to rewire the way he is looking at his life in this world.  And he needs it for all of us.  Robby has become a dark cloud in the family.  The bad energy surrounding him is suffocating him and everyone around him.  It is a little terrifying. 

I have been working on writing this for days hoping that figuring out how to write it will give me a clue to how to help him. Maybe. 

A week w/Robby

 Oh my.  My grandson,  Robby, was here for a week during the mess here.  I really don't know exactly how to describe what that was like.  I didnt really understand what Jeanette has been going through with him.  He will be 20 years old in 2 months.  He stopped going to school ago 3 years ago and has barely worked since then.  He worked part time at Dairy Queen for a few months.  Was Let Go.  Jeanette was seeing up job interviews for him that somehow never panned out until he got a security job at Burlington last fall that he quickly was died from.  He has contributed next to nothing financially and barely helped around the house.  I know people were telling Nett to put him Out. I mentioned several times that my mother put Mike out when he stopped going to school.  Not that I had agreed with her! We had just lost our father and were all messed up,  including her. But it did many Mike learn to talky care of himself.  I want wanting Nett to put Robby out on the street like that but even if i had been she wouldn't have. Jeanette sufferes from what most mothers suffer from, Guilt, but even me than most. Yes, she made some big mistakes like being together with Jon  and then Asshole David, but most of her problems were out of her control.  Losing her eye, catching on fire. Plus it is just really hard to be a single parent,  especially with teenagers! Whatever. 

She had been telling me how Robby gets violently angry but I don't think I really understood it until now.  They got in an argument over Robby doing the dishes and she told him to get out. But it didn't look like she was going to actually put him out so I let him come here so I could maybe talk to him - truthfully I'm not totally sure of what my intentions were but I am sure that I really had no clue what I was getting into.  He is a MESS. We always knew that he has anger issues.  He was a frightening little kid even in elementary school.  Jeanette probably didn't forget that but I kind of did in the years since they lived with me.  I think I was just assuming that he had grown out of that behavior.  He mostly presents himself to me as very sweet, thoughtful even, but I would hear things from Jeanette and Riley that I wish I had taken a lot more seriously.  I mostly just observed him during the week he was here trying to figure him out and fidget out hour to talk to him,  how to help him.  

Been a while

 Everything has been happening too much too fast or at a standstill because I am sick so it has felt overwhelming to write anything.  I've been dealing with severe stomach pain any diarrhea for about 2 weeks now.  Not sure about Why and I'm a little afraid to find out. That's the Oh wow I'm old thing.  Something is likely going to take me out soon so medical crisis are frightening 🫣 . I saw Dr. Jeffrey a couple of days into it but I want worried about it yet,  a couple of days of cramping diarrhea happens fairly regularly with the IBS and bowel resection I have going on. Yesterday I saw Dr Gold who heard good beasts and thought zebras, he is afraid that I have Cdiff  and asked me to leave his clinic and go see Dr Jeffrey again. I haven't yet. Then I had a crown built too high after a root canal - OUCH - that was probably infected plus UTI symptoms so I started Amoxicilan even tho I knew it might make the gut issue worse.  I don't know if it did but it didn't get worse or better.  The tooth still hurts and peeing still hurts and I am 5 days in the antibiotics.  Through all of this we've had a war between Jami and Lindsey,  Robby came here for a week and Phillip and Jenise came for their birthday tempura and cake on the 6th. 

The Jami/Lindsey war is just sad.  I have worried every time they started hanging out together again because it has always ended badly.  If they could ever just visit without getting up each other's butts it might not be so bad. They are always both a little wrong in these things.  I don't know why again when trouble got started Jami's first reaction was "OK - I'm packing my stuff and leaving." She did that when I found out Mike Watson was staying here and said he had to go.  That was a little understandable,  she was leaving to be with him so he could kick her ass again. Ok. Not so understandable.  More understandable than this time.  True when she was yelling at Lindsey defending herself and then started yelling at me because she thought I was just defending Lindsey and then I told her Yea, take your things and go - And then she always says something like "That's what you wanted all along". Shit. She is very much a pain in the ass to house but I have done it over an over even tho it Always goes the same.  Her part of the house trashed, meth and meth people in our house, next to No contribution, etc. I HAVE been telling her all year that I needed to move Jeanette or someone in who can and does help with the bills an Jami is always going to help Next Week or tomorrow,  whatever.  

Then in all this BS Jenise and Phillip come for their birthdays and I try to make it  good visit,  I haven't seen them since Thanksgiving!, but I was too sick and worn down to do the tempura dinner we planned and it SUCKED. We tried to at least do a stir fry but I did the rice and ruined it which ruined the dinner.  *sigh*

I'm in terrible pain. Blinding cramps. And dammit what if it IS C- diff??

More blurrr

 Ok. Last week Jeanette's car broke down and i was driving her until she got her car Friday BUT then the ignition broke so I'm driving again until she can get it fixed.  

Then the last day that I drove her,  or was it after??, Robby and Jeanette got in a big fight and he ended up here i thought to cool off but that had not happened at all.  Lindsey can't here worried that her mom has things of hers because I found Jake's Mastercard in my car and Lindsey has never been in my car so Jami must have stopped it there.  Then Jeanette and Riley came over and were looking at the basement and they found Annabella's social security card on the floor by the basement bath room so Lindsey asked if she could check if her safe and some other things were in her mom's room and they and other things were.  I sent a picture of the things to Jami only saying oh No. Jami rushed home and the fight was on.  The really stupid thing was that Jami's first reaction was to say 'I'm coming home to get my stuff' ant I remembered she did the same thing when I found out that she was sneaking Mike into the house. She really spent have any where else to live and her first reaction here is to say she is leaving.  She came home very angry,  loudly defending herself so aggressively it was very frightening. At some point she yelled that I was a MF and I said 'OK get your stuff and go' but she also immediate said that she shouldn't have said that.  Way too much trauma and drama!!!

Aside from ALL of the BS going on,  Lindsey stayed the night Friday and we got to hang out a LOT together which was realtor nice 🙃. I had wanted that for a long time. 

I don't want any of the other BS.

A blur of days

 I barely know what day it is lately.  I was sick for a few weeks and then life started happening again.  And more. I've had to drive Jeanette to work and back a while,  which i don't mind at all,  it seems like it's the only time we get to talk,  but then there has been trouble with her and Robby, who is here now,  Lindsey has been coming around,  and with that Jami and she have been fighting,  and now I am spared to be preparing for Jenise and Phillip to come for their Tempura birthdays next weekend,  😍. Oh and I have a bad tooth hurting me,  should get to see my dentist tomorrow.  

First I really need to figure out how to get through to Robby. He's been here a few days and I haven't accomplished anything with him.  I was hoping he was working it out himself but then today I found out that he is trashing Jeanette and not trying to make anything better at all.  He has some really strange and bad anger issues. 

More late.   Kira is really sick,  102 temp, need to take care of her.