Jeanette's Birthday

Not only are Jami, and Kirk, home now but Mikey and the girls are here. Lindsey was here for a couple of days but had to leave at noon today.
Jami is cooking tater tot casserole for supper and Jeremy baked Jeanette a birthday cake we will have with ice cream for desert. Jeanette is on her way over here with her children.
Yesterday we all went swimming at Gallager Pool and as we were leaving the tornado sirens went off. Rob picked Jeanette and their kids up and they got home before the storm got here but the rest of us got caught in it. Mikey had Jami, Lindsey, Michelle , Joey and Jessalynn with him and Jeremy and Kirk rode with me. There were 90 mile an hour winds with torrential rain and golf ball sized hail. Mikey pulled into a Jiffy Lube for cover with the girls screaming and crying. I kept driving at a snails pace through the storm even though at times I couldn't see the road and I had no idea where I was from 72nd to 90th street when the storm passed as quickly as it blew up. There were downed trees and power lines everywhere and 120,000 Omahans were without power, including us. I stopped and picked up Jessica who hadn't gone swimming with us and we all came here. Patrick picked up Jessalynn to go to his sister's wedding rehearsal, Jessalynn is the flower girl, and we went to one of the few places open for business, the Taco Bell near us, and it took almost an hour to get our food but we had enough tables for all of us and had dinner there.
Lindsey is only a hair shorter than her mother now and absolutely elegantly beautiful. I couldn't feast my eyes on her enough in the short time we had with her! Joey and Michelle have grown up beautifully, too. Joey remembers all of us but we are all like strangers to Michelle except for her mother. It is very obvious that Mikey has worked hard to keep Jami alive for them during their long absence. Joey is sweet and affectionate to us all but Michelle is a little harder for me to get closer to. I don't push it. I am mostly glad that she is so bonded to her mom. She is like a little fairy angel so very, very petite. Mike is Mike and a real joy to be around again. He lights us all up with a spark we have greatly missed without him around.
I'm going to hate it when this visit is over tomorrow.

While trying to get Jami freed

I am waiting on a call from child support enforcement to get Jami a court date set or make arrangements to pay or something to get her out.
Jami told me that the judge told her that she had lost all parental rights and that the girls were "adopted out" during the divorce and also that he told her about things that were said about her during the proceedings, she says by Mikey or his family, that greatly upset her. I emailed Mike about it and he called back pretty quick and denied all of it and I do believe that he didn't intend to do this if it was done. He also said that he had not said bad things about Jami and that he still had a lot of feelings for her and that he hadn't given up on them working things out someday. That knocked me for a loop. I emailed Mikey nd told him that I knew that Jami, too, hoped that they would get together again someday and haven't heard any more from him. I didn't tell him what I think about it yet.
Even if they love each other still, how can they live together with the way his family feels about Jami??? Mikey and the girls are very close with his family. PLUS it would mean Jami living in Minnesota among all of them without even me for support. Yes, it would be wonderful for the girls to have both of their parents but I just don't see how it could ever be a happily ever after. And I want happily ever after for all of them.

Jami Not Released!!!

Jami went to court this morning and the child abuse charge was dropped and she was given a fifty dollar fine for the driving under suspension and I went to get her out of jail and they told me that there was still a hold on her for the blasted child support. I contacted her attorney and he said that the child support went though a different court, civil court, I think, and that she would need a different court appointed attorney to take care of that for her. He said that he would help us get it all together Monday.
No one bothered to tell Jami that there was a hold on her so she sat in the jail all day waiting for me to pick her up until she called at five and I had to break it to her that she wasn't getting out. It was one of the most horrible things I have ever had to do. One of the most heartbreaking. She was so bewildered and shocked and then so very very sad. I could hardly think of what to say to get her to hang in there and hope a while longer. She sounded defeated until I mentioned trying to get her a PR bond. Then there was a tiny spark of hope that I pray will keep her through the long weekend we have ahead. I told her to call all through the weekend and she said that she would.
I am praying for a miracle but I doubt very much she will be out to see her children when they come to town next week. Their first visit and I doubt there will be another any time soon.

I hope to be able to do something to get Jami out. First I have to get her an attorney. Then try to get her a PR bond, if not that, a bond reduction, and get a court date set. I need to check with child support to find out if by chance John has been docked for any of the child support he owes Jami in the last three years and maybe there is some money there for Jami's. Her five hundred dollars in bond money at Sarpy County was forfeited today for some reason so that is gone.
OK. One good thing. The child abuse charge getting dropped. Jami plead guilty to it at first this morning but the judge didn't accept her plea because he felt the charge was wrong. He explained that she might never get her children back if the charge stuck or even be able to keep any future children. She was still going to plea guilty to get it all over with but then the judge decided to just drop the charge.
I just have to preserve her for the long run now. Keep her going until she can see that there is still hope and time for all her dreams. This is likely the hardest night she has ever spent in jail. But she has lived through much worse nights! She is my daughter. She is a fighter. I just have to keep her fighting through the darkness and do all I can to bring her light.
I will fight for my daughter with all my might.

Mikey and Girls ar Coming for a visit!!!

Yep. finally. Mikey is bringing the girls to Omaha next Wednesday. I do wish it were at a better time for us, Jessalynn is going to be tied up with a wedding over the weekend, but at least they are coming. Mike says that Lindsey is going to be in town, too, at that time but that she doesn't want to see any of us. What can I expect when she lives with a man who despises me and my family and tells her things like "You would never get anywhere in life if you had stayed around them"? Plus I hear her being more and more like him each time I manage to speak to her and it is disheartening to say the least. Plus they are all into this BIG thing about how all of her problems come from her Mother, and some of them do, but as time goes on I see Jami becoming the scapegoat for all her problems. How could it be otherwise when John finds himself perfect and actually says that his wife is perfect?? there is no hope for Jami or any of us at this time. I just hope Jami won't be hurt by the snub.
I look forward to seeing Mikey and Joey and Michelle and am thankful that Mikey at least doesn't poison any of us to them including their mother. He is more mature than John and sees the big picture more clearly. Jami is their mother and I and my girls are part of their family and always will be.

Jami is getting out!!!!!

Jami called today and said that her lawyer finally talked to her and he said that $1700 isn't enough child support to be in jail for and that she will go to court Friday and get time served for the driving under suspension and probation, if anything, for the child abuse charges since Mikey's charges were dropped. She will have sixty days to make arrangements with the child support office for back pay and to get her driver's license. And she will be HOME. I was out and she called every fifteen minutes until I got home to tell me. I can't describe the joy I feel. I am still a little scared that something might go wrong but can't wait until Friday.

It is a beautiful day today, sunny with a cool breeze. I hope Friday is this nice for Jami!

Father's Day

I emailed Mikey and Beaver happy father's day and still have to take Jessalynn to take one to her father. Jeremy hasn't gotten any yet but I know he is going to get one from Jessica and one from Jessalynn.
Jeremy returned to work today and is doing OK so far. His gout problem really worries me. I need to investigate it more to find a reason for it and how to prevent it. I worry a lot about him. I think his body is older than his years from the Epilepsy. His seizures seem to be under control for the first time in the six years that I have known him. He has had a couple during the last few months but they have been mild for him.
I have my grandchildren here today. They have been playing together very nicely today. I love the way they love each other. It is a shame my other grandchildren don't even now any of them. Jessalynn and Jenise both still ask for Joey. I don't think Joey and Michelle miss these guys much since they have the Manning clan but I wonder sometimes how much of us is in those girls. I know Lindsey has a lot of our family in her. She is very creative and has that sharp edged sense of humor I see in my daughters. She is also Bipolar, there is some bad to us, too! But being Bipolar isn't that terrible if it is understood and taken care of. I do hope it misses Joey and Michelle since they aren't around any family who know what it is like to have and I don't even know it anyone up there would recognize it if it started to develop in one of them.
I am rambling. I'm writing while stopping every minute or so to help the kids with something. I have a monster mask on right now. It makes it a little hard to write.
Jami called last night and cried a lot and said that she won't be calling any more because it just makes her too sad.
I'd better stop now.

Gout

Jeremy is down with gout again and has been in bed resting it for three days and it still isn't much better. He says he is still going to work tomorrow but I don't know if he will be able to. I am very worried about his health these days. He is overweight and eats way too much junk. I think eating all the KFC might have something to do with the gout even though I have never heard anything about chicken causing it but I have heard about excess causing it. And diabetes.

Jami's Methadone Withdrawal

I saw Jami again yesterday morning and she was very upset with how the withdrawal off of Methadone is going. Earlier this week she started having dreams about doing heroin again and she has had them every night now and they get worse and worse so heroin is all she can think about. She wants to get out and get some heroin right away except for thinking about coming here and living happy like she was before they arrested her. I don't know quite how to comfort her except to assure her I will get her to the methadone clinic ASAP when she gets out.
I have been trying to call her lawyer all week with no response and we really need to know what she is facing in there so she can get her mind set right for it. She is also having to do without her Bipolar or depression meds in there, they won't even give her Tylenol, and I am very worried about her.
We had over forty tornadoes touch down around us Wednesday night and four boy scouts did at a camp by Little Sue. I thought about my grief over Jami and did take minute to look at the grief those parents must feel. At least I am not suffering that.

Tuesday Morning

I visited Jami this morning and put eighty dollars on her books. We had a pretty good visit. She was late coming out because she was with the nurse. She was very pleased with the money and said it would provide all that she needs in there. She finally got moved to a bigger pod and has other women to talk to and play cards with, etc. She got in a fight with a woman in the secluded pod last night and I'm glad if that is what it took to get her out of there!
Jeremy had to be at work at nine fifteen this morning so he had to walk to work even though he has a hurt knee and is limping. He went and played poker with his buddies last night until about eleven thirty. I'm glad he gets to do it but it was a little hard being here alone. Jessalynn called later and asked to come over for a while so I went and got her until it was time to get Jeremy and that helped.
Jeanette called as soon as I got home this morning. She and the kids are still sick with the stomach flu and pretty miserable. Then right after we hung up Jessica called. Jessalynn is wanting picked up again but I have to get the white laundry done first.

Sunday Night

I feel a little better today. the deep feeling of grief has lifted again a tiny bit and I have been fairly functional. Jessalynn went home with Heidi around six pm and Jenise and Robbie are still here but Rob is on his way.
I finally got to talk to Jami this morning. I was worried when she didn't call me yesterday on my birthday but then found out that the phones were out at the jail yesterday. She sounded very down again today but she did say that having a radio would make a big difference to her and today I got the money to get her a radio this week. I'll take her money when I visit her Tuesday Morning.
Jessica is due in October, Jeanette in November, and Jami is due in December so it should rain babies this fall around here. I am excited. I have a crib and a bassinet here and most of another crib ready here.

Dark Days

Shortly after I last wrote I went to CB and brought Jami home with me to live. It was wonderful to have her here finally but I only got to have her for a few days and I got pulled over for a missing front license plate and they asked for Jami's ID and arrested her for Nonpayment of Child Support and two old warrants in Sarpy County, Driving Under Suspension and Child Abuse from when Michelle was born. I am devastated. I think a lot about the expression "prostrate with grief" because I definitely have been since they drove off with her. It has been a little over a week now I think, I lose track of time, it is all a blur of pain. I hurt so badly for her it is hard to breathe sometimes. They refused to give her Methadone so she has had to go through the horrifying withdrawals in there, one of the most inhumane jails I know of. I have been to visit her twice and have been able to keep her supplied with the money for necessities so far. I have never been this sad about her being arrested before, I think because she was doing so good and I was so proud of how she was doing and was loving having her here with me so very much, and because she is pregnant and I know she wants this baby to make it so very very much. She has been able to hear the baby's heartbeat twice since her arrest when seeing the jail nurse. She was spotting a little a couple of days ago but it stopped.
She is terribly sad, too, and cries more than she ever has in jail before for many of the same reasons that I cry for her. She also deals with missing Kirk who she had just been able to talk to on the phone regularly since she had been staying here and now that is lost to her, too. I mailed her a picture of Kirk and her today that I hope she gets Monday.
After Jami had been in jail a few days I realized I was sick as well as grieving and I am on antibiotics for a urinary tract infection now and feel somewhat better. The fever is gone but the terrible feeling in my heart and gut haven't let up much. It was a little better last night, I think because I slept with Jessalynn cuddled to me. But the darkness descended as soon as I woke this morning and almost seems worse than ever. Maybe because it is also my birthday today. I didn't celebrate the day at all. Everyone wished me a happy birthday and Jenise and Robbie gave me a beautiful card. Jessalynn and Jeremy brought me a birthday hat statue. That is about all the celebrating I can take for now. I'll throw a party when I get Jami back.
We have no clue how long Jami will be in jail. Sarpy county is notorious for being very harsh. Here in Douglas County a person gets a ticket and a small fine for first offense shoplifting. A woman in with Jami got sentenced two months for first offense shop lifting in Sarpy last week. I spoke to her public defender and am supposed to call him back this week after he has all of her paperwork and can discuss what might happen to her. Jami says that Nonpayment of Child Support is an automatic 90 days in Sarpy County and then you still have to pay the back child support. And keep up with the ongoing.
I have to stop for now. I have Jessalynn, Robbie and Jenise here tonight as usual. Jami was going to go spend the night with Jeanette tonight while I had all of the kids and have a sister slumber party. Jami was so excited about it and now is so sad to miss out on it.
I have tired cranky kids here tonight. Time to go liven them up or put them to bed.