I should change the title of this blog....
I've been fairly upbeat. I have to say it must have something to do with the increase in psych meds I am on but whatever works right now. I can get though the sorrows without falling apart and that is OK with me.
I've had a bit of a scare going. I have two red dots, one on my thigh and one on my stomach, that I was very afraid was MRSA but I am less afraid as they haven't progressed into boils or even pimples but I am still nervous since I don't know what they are and I am around so many who have it. I am careful as I can be but I don't think I know anyone with it who is as careful as I would like them to be. I am treating my spots as though they are MRSA jsut in case and being very careful about myself, too.
Jami's face is clearing up but she will be lucky if it isn't scarred from her last run on Meth and she is doing some tonight, too. Not much, they are struggling to even get their rent paid, but any is too much for her.
Jess almost got caught in what I am sure was a modeling scam today but fortunately her bank card was no good that she tried to use to pay the crooks. I told her to look them up on the BBB and she did and it wasn't pretty at all.
I have been emailing with Rizzo's mom and it seems that she is like me in that she needs someone who understands where moms live with a junkie for a child. It's a form of Hell only another in the same position could know. She writes of living a fake life, a facade for others, that I know all too well. We have become friends and I hope to meet her someday.
Patrick found out his child support is going to be almost $350 and includes getting medical insurance for Jessalynn. I tried to warn him back when he was giving Jess fifty every other week and thinking he was paying her a lot. If he had been fair to begin with and given her two hundred a month I doubt she would have filed.
We ourselves are almost four months behind on rent and the landlord hasn't called because I have been this late before and paid it but I am really worried this time. Jeremy will get his first check Friday and it won't be a full week and he is only making $8.50 an hour. Jessica isn't working at all and her boyfriend has so much he is trying do do he can't help us at all. I'm thinking we might have to move into where Jami is and put everything in storage for a while but no one but me seems to know it is that serious. Jessica got approved for her government housing and will pick up her voucher Wednesday but I haven't heard back on mine yet. It took her three months and it has maybe been a month since I applied. I hope the landlord will give us the standard thirty day eviction. I don't know if the law changes if you are this far behind. I won't stiff them on it. I will pay them off however I can even if it takes a little while. Once I am in government housing or living where Jami does it should be fairly easy to pay them back in a reasonable amount of time. I doubt they will expect to ever see the money once we're gone but they will. They've put up with this too much to not pay them even if it is really a crappy, leaky, house in the ghetto.
I am disgusted with being overweight but don't seem to do too much about it except whine. I need to start working out no matter how it hurts. Walking. Lots of walking. Jessalynn said my belly looked pregnant yesterday, something I've wondered if others thought but didn't ask. I GOTTA lose weight. I've never been this big like this. I gained about this much pregnant and once in 1989 but it wasn't so much in the stomach unless I was pregnant. I can't handle this!!!
I've been fairly upbeat. I have to say it must have something to do with the increase in psych meds I am on but whatever works right now. I can get though the sorrows without falling apart and that is OK with me.
I've had a bit of a scare going. I have two red dots, one on my thigh and one on my stomach, that I was very afraid was MRSA but I am less afraid as they haven't progressed into boils or even pimples but I am still nervous since I don't know what they are and I am around so many who have it. I am careful as I can be but I don't think I know anyone with it who is as careful as I would like them to be. I am treating my spots as though they are MRSA jsut in case and being very careful about myself, too.
Jami's face is clearing up but she will be lucky if it isn't scarred from her last run on Meth and she is doing some tonight, too. Not much, they are struggling to even get their rent paid, but any is too much for her.
Jess almost got caught in what I am sure was a modeling scam today but fortunately her bank card was no good that she tried to use to pay the crooks. I told her to look them up on the BBB and she did and it wasn't pretty at all.
I have been emailing with Rizzo's mom and it seems that she is like me in that she needs someone who understands where moms live with a junkie for a child. It's a form of Hell only another in the same position could know. She writes of living a fake life, a facade for others, that I know all too well. We have become friends and I hope to meet her someday.
Patrick found out his child support is going to be almost $350 and includes getting medical insurance for Jessalynn. I tried to warn him back when he was giving Jess fifty every other week and thinking he was paying her a lot. If he had been fair to begin with and given her two hundred a month I doubt she would have filed.
We ourselves are almost four months behind on rent and the landlord hasn't called because I have been this late before and paid it but I am really worried this time. Jeremy will get his first check Friday and it won't be a full week and he is only making $8.50 an hour. Jessica isn't working at all and her boyfriend has so much he is trying do do he can't help us at all. I'm thinking we might have to move into where Jami is and put everything in storage for a while but no one but me seems to know it is that serious. Jessica got approved for her government housing and will pick up her voucher Wednesday but I haven't heard back on mine yet. It took her three months and it has maybe been a month since I applied. I hope the landlord will give us the standard thirty day eviction. I don't know if the law changes if you are this far behind. I won't stiff them on it. I will pay them off however I can even if it takes a little while. Once I am in government housing or living where Jami does it should be fairly easy to pay them back in a reasonable amount of time. I doubt they will expect to ever see the money once we're gone but they will. They've put up with this too much to not pay them even if it is really a crappy, leaky, house in the ghetto.
I am disgusted with being overweight but don't seem to do too much about it except whine. I need to start working out no matter how it hurts. Walking. Lots of walking. Jessalynn said my belly looked pregnant yesterday, something I've wondered if others thought but didn't ask. I GOTTA lose weight. I've never been this big like this. I gained about this much pregnant and once in 1989 but it wasn't so much in the stomach unless I was pregnant. I can't handle this!!!
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