The 4th not so much

 The 4th of July stopped being a fun holiday when Jeremy turned into Monster Man those last years.  I barely recognize it as a holiday any more.  I remember crying when Jazz and Kira were babies because it was all so beautiful And I was overwhelmed that we were all together.  Then we started going to the Ralston fire works with the whole family and I would cry watching the fireworks thanking God that we were all alive and together still.  Once watching the fireworks at Memorial Park I cried that it all felt like a lie. I was starting to understand our government,  the Dirty Deeds, the lies. Justice for All. One nation under God. It was gone and I cried afraid of the world the kids might end up in. Then Jeremy became intolerable,  always angry and bitter. Kirk still made the 4th fun. He loved being part of the Ralston family gathering.  Then he died. The 4th of July never recovered.  

The Money Pit

 Yep. The whole house is just falling apart.  My Fault.  A LOT more my fault than Jeremy.  I made this mess just hoping we would get lucky.  We. Did. Not. Well,  maybe he did,  he's out of this.  Jeanette took his place and she is paying for it every day.  😒 I do feel terribly that she is in this with me but i would be So Much more lost without her!!

Oh and Hey - Jazz actually Spoke to me yesterday!!! She asked where the van that I totaled a month ago went.  

Jess says she doesn't "hate" me.  I say songbook Nice to Jazz every time I see her.  I don't even get acknowledged as there and alive.  Jeanette thinks it's about Jessalynn and Jeremy.  Well, no matter what Jess says, it Feels hateful and just Rude. Mean. Which is really tough because I love her to death! 

A Kingly request

 King texted asking if I could go out for an hour yesterday but I didn't see the message until several hours later.  I told him that I had been, and was, just dozing all day, recovering from having the house full all weekend.  And it is a house full when Jenise visits because,  of course!, everyone wants to come see our Elliot❣️. 

Oh and Elliott Kiser Dodson has grown So Much and is CRAWLING!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Back to the King.  I know I probably should say a Yes to something soon. Im thinking about saying a Yes to the very first proposition,  going for a walk.  I do think of him quite often but I don't really know if it if because I am attracted to him or if it is just that I am still stunned that he is asking!! I certainly haven't expected anyone to notice me for Years.  I haven't been "looking"  since Jeremy left and certainly not before he left.  I thought I was paying a compliment to a much younger man the first time I spoke to King. Funny thing, he says that his mother called his father King like maybe it might mean something that I call him King. I just think the name fits. He's rather regal, walks head up with pride always carrying a big stick like a staff. 🤣😂🤣

And Me?? I am always grubby from working in the garden, and  I bathe with the garden hose several times a day and brush the dirt out of my hair. Not much of a Beauty Program going on here!! Does be not notice or not care?? Or is that why he suggested a day at a Spa? 😅 Or, maybe it doesn't matter because he's a serial killer.... 

Oh Me Oh My!!!

A Funny Funny

 Last year there were a lot of YouTube videos saying that we didn't need to fill raised beds with soil, that we could put logs in the bottom and that they would turn into soil.  So I happily did this.  Then I see a video addressed to the idiots who did that last year and it said that it would take YEARS for the logs to turn into soil!!! And that that wood decomposing was BAD for my garden! Today I dug up a raised bed and,  sure nuff,  the logs and sticks looked exactly the same still!! Jeanette looked outside and saw me digging, saw that I had a little fire going in my fire pit, and was dismayed that I appeared to be digging for fire wood when there were trees all around me! and she said that she was afraid that she would be just as whacky in 20 years!! OH!! That made my day! 😅🤣😂🤣

The last big package

 OMG Jeanette got me a mini washing machine so I can do my laundry without climbing the basement stairs!!!! I haven't had a washer and dryer on the same floor as me since the Yellow House!!! I wear clothes for DAYS and hand wash my under things to get by.  I HATE asking anyone else to do my laundry.  At the last house Jeremy would tell me to bag up my laundry and that he would wash it so it so I would bag it and he'd never come get it.  I've been more able to climb the stairs since Dr Gold put the Sarapin in my knee but that is going bad again now.  This is wonderful!!! 🤔😃😃😃❤️❤️❤️❣️

Another Birthday!?

 Yep. I'm still here! 😅🤣😂🤣

I've already had the Best Gifts! and I invite there at more still. Jenise and Phillip have me a cute little glass table with 2 chairs for until I fix the porch swing out back (if I ever actually get that done!) and it will replace the old ones on the front porch after I did the swing,  wish will make Jess and Kira happy 😊.  I slept late (because it's my birthday...) and Jess came in with a big bag.  EVERYTHING in the bag was something I had mentioned wanting/needing recently. I told her that I was going to have to try to find a better kind of hair brush because they always fall apart and she gave me an amazing brush.  Same thing with tweezers. And I have lamented not having another cup like Kira got for me last year because i couldn't let it dry out completely after washing it.  I needed another one to change them out and she gave me a big Stanley cup!! Ok, I didn't really mention the next ones but they are definitely things I was very happy to get!! She gave me a coffee grinder and coffee beans!! Then the unbelievable present - I have been looking for an old printing of Louis Mae Alcott's book Little Men for years and there it was,  over a hundred years old!!!! 🥰😍😘❤️❤️❤️❤️

There is a Big box in the living room with 2 huge bows on it that came from Jeanette's Amazon account.  The writing on the boys many it now confusing instead of helping me figure out what's inside!!! I can't wait until Nett gets up!!!

A Gentleman Caller

 Such an old term but it just kind of fits. He's a very nice man,  Edmund King, but I just call him King.  I spoke to him as he was passing once,  he goes for a walk by our house every day and I spoke to him one day as he was going by, I think I asked him why he walks so much?, and he replied something like "I have to if I want to look good". I told him that it was working fine and then he next said that he was 65 years old! That just floored me because I was thinking he was maybe 40. And he liked that!! He said he'd be by to talk again and now we speak quite often. Today he acted surprised that I am actually 2 years older than him, and how in the world could he really believe that! but it was nice of him to say it. He owed me one 😏. He asks to go out, out to eat,  to a day spa, anywhere and today I agreed to going for coffee. He said he'd like to go today but I really don't want to do that.  I'd like to "clean up" to go out and I am just exhausted today. I knew rain was coming so I worked on getting as much of the garden in as I could until 2 hours after dark last night. When the rain hadn't got here yet I worked some more until the first rain drops became actual Rain. I just want a nap right now!! because I AM almost 67 years old 😅.

Sucky day so far

 I'm hating this day. It didn't start great started with finding out that Riley's going to summer school and needed a ride home. And well at least in that did leave out the keys to the van she drives which I was worried a lot about but anyways so I go and get him and he wanted me to pick him up at the god the store near there. And I did and I pulled up and I went in and paid for gas and when I came back out Riley and the scooter or in the van. And I didn't think anything of that I just drove us home. Shortly after I get home I get a call from a sheriff's office asking if I was just at the store by the school. Now say I was and I asked if I had a Riley with me I don't remember if they called in my name but I said yes I did and if I'd seen a scooter I said yes I did. And then they tell me that someone stole a scooter or that Riley was seeing loading a scooter into the van I was in and could I bring the scooter and Riley to the Sheriff's department. Which I mean was its own problem cuz by the engine that's gone with the good van and I've got the crap man that does 30 miles an hour. They said they got the number from Jeanette so I called Jeanette to find out how all this happened. And I'm thinking they found Jeanette because I was in that's van but then I realized the van that's driving is still that guy she works with so there's no way they found her from her plates but I guess they might have called the guy who's still owns a van anyways. Anyways. So I asked riley. Riley says no he absolutely did not take anyone scooter but his own. And I don't believe him. And I'm asking him why are the police saying they saw you loading someone else's scooter into the van and he's telling me no they saw me with my scooter. And I said well then check serial numbers on that cuz whoever is missing a scooter probably a Serial numbers. And he says yeah they can check and I don't know what to think. And it's like I'm I'm being free to kind of like I'm a little senile? You know the thing I hate! But anyways I tell Jeanette I'm worried about driving all the way out to the Sheriff's Department and she says she will try to get in touch with them and tell them to come here to talk to Riley and I tell Riley they're coming. And I tell him that if that bike's not scooters not his he needs to say something because there's a chance that people won't press charges but that chance will be gone if he tries to lie. He and sis he's not lying. I don't believe him. And then I tell him I don't remember a lot of back and forth but remember I'm looking at the the doorbell cam and wondering what it shows about him coming home and I look at how it's attached and I asked Riley you know how's that thing out there does it come down or something like that and he takes it down and so something's wrong. Something's real wrong. And and I told Jeanette I was just going to let things unfold or they did when the police came and talked to him and she said she was doing the same thing. But anyways they came and he tells his story okay that was Robbie. I don't want to do this right now. I had a headache I feel sick this is stupid.