Today is my day to quit smoking. I have patches and I am smoking my last cigarettes and writing now before I dive into a smoke free life. I think I will succeed since I have so many reasons to succeed the biggest one being all those I effect with second hand smoke. After that comes the fact that I never told Lindsey I started again and I hate to let her down. Then comes my own health and the fact that I have a sinus infection that I have been fighting for over a month now and I am on my third run of antibiotics. Also, I would like to see if my singing voice comes back at all when I quit. Lastly I am hating smelling like a stinky cigarette all of the time!!!!!
Relations are a bit rough with Kirk and me right now. I am getting fed up with taking care of them when they make enough money to take care of themselves if he didn't spend first monies on drugs all of the time. The other night they asked for a ride to the casino to cash in a seven dollar coupon to buy cigarettes and stuff and the money went to dope instead which really pissed me off. I'm not driving him anywhere that gives him access to buying drugs again. The night I took them to the casino I had to stop at Kenny's and he got it there from someone.
We had an ice storm over the weekend and I tried to go pick up Jeremy in it and got stuck about two blocks from here and had to walk home slipping and sliding. I have been in terrible pain ever since and even went to the Emmanuel ER last night for a shot which gave me a little relief for a little while. I may have to go back today and try to get some pills, too.
That is another problem I'm having dealing with Kirk. The other day I couldn't find my Morphine. I searched and searched and Jami was asleep but woke up and freaked when she found out I'd lost them because she was sure she would be blamed. I didn't suspect her but I was wondering about Kirk because I hd given him a ride that day. Jami called Robin and got her to give me a couple of pills to stop the withdrawals that were already starting and the pain and we gave up the search. I picked Kirk up from work and we told him what had happened and he just mumbled that I probably misplaced them . I dropped them off and came home and Jami had called and left a message that Kirk had had my pills in his back pack but hadn't admitted it when we told him about losing them. She said to come get them. I got them in the morning and the count was right but I suspect the amount in each capsule has been tampered with because they aren't full nad they aren't working too well. I have diarrhea indicating I am in slight withdrawal still, too. Kirk says he wanted to just hide them in my room to find so I wouldn't think bad of him but I just don't get that he didn't tell me he had them when he heard about the frantic search plus I still don't know how they got in his bag from my purse to begin with!! It all sounds fishy. I think that when he told Jami about them he was hoping she would want to keep them and not tell me . What else can I think?? She says he told her about them as soon as I drove off and then they fought all night about it because she was mad he would be so disrespectful to me. I finally told her that I don't think he is doing any good for her and just making her suffer all of the time in poverty she doesn't have to live in.
Jeremy and I and everyone are getting along good again and I have a new slogan, Don't ride the clutch and don't ride Jeremy. I get so bad about lecturing him like he is a kid when he screws up and I have to stop. He works about sixty hours a week lately and needs all of the support he can get. Poor guy. He is working so hard but there is no money for any kind of luxuries yet because we are in the hole some and trying to get enough money to move, too. He wants desperately to make enough to buy me a ring but I don't think we will be able to by Christmas like he wants.
It's a little snowy right now but supposed to be clear of snow and ice for most of the next two weeks.
Relations are a bit rough with Kirk and me right now. I am getting fed up with taking care of them when they make enough money to take care of themselves if he didn't spend first monies on drugs all of the time. The other night they asked for a ride to the casino to cash in a seven dollar coupon to buy cigarettes and stuff and the money went to dope instead which really pissed me off. I'm not driving him anywhere that gives him access to buying drugs again. The night I took them to the casino I had to stop at Kenny's and he got it there from someone.
We had an ice storm over the weekend and I tried to go pick up Jeremy in it and got stuck about two blocks from here and had to walk home slipping and sliding. I have been in terrible pain ever since and even went to the Emmanuel ER last night for a shot which gave me a little relief for a little while. I may have to go back today and try to get some pills, too.
That is another problem I'm having dealing with Kirk. The other day I couldn't find my Morphine. I searched and searched and Jami was asleep but woke up and freaked when she found out I'd lost them because she was sure she would be blamed. I didn't suspect her but I was wondering about Kirk because I hd given him a ride that day. Jami called Robin and got her to give me a couple of pills to stop the withdrawals that were already starting and the pain and we gave up the search. I picked Kirk up from work and we told him what had happened and he just mumbled that I probably misplaced them . I dropped them off and came home and Jami had called and left a message that Kirk had had my pills in his back pack but hadn't admitted it when we told him about losing them. She said to come get them. I got them in the morning and the count was right but I suspect the amount in each capsule has been tampered with because they aren't full nad they aren't working too well. I have diarrhea indicating I am in slight withdrawal still, too. Kirk says he wanted to just hide them in my room to find so I wouldn't think bad of him but I just don't get that he didn't tell me he had them when he heard about the frantic search plus I still don't know how they got in his bag from my purse to begin with!! It all sounds fishy. I think that when he told Jami about them he was hoping she would want to keep them and not tell me . What else can I think?? She says he told her about them as soon as I drove off and then they fought all night about it because she was mad he would be so disrespectful to me. I finally told her that I don't think he is doing any good for her and just making her suffer all of the time in poverty she doesn't have to live in.
Jeremy and I and everyone are getting along good again and I have a new slogan, Don't ride the clutch and don't ride Jeremy. I get so bad about lecturing him like he is a kid when he screws up and I have to stop. He works about sixty hours a week lately and needs all of the support he can get. Poor guy. He is working so hard but there is no money for any kind of luxuries yet because we are in the hole some and trying to get enough money to move, too. He wants desperately to make enough to buy me a ring but I don't think we will be able to by Christmas like he wants.
It's a little snowy right now but supposed to be clear of snow and ice for most of the next two weeks.
No comments:
Post a Comment