I've been wearing a heart monitor since I was hospitalized Labor Day weekend because I have had problems since running a 104 temp. Today i saw the cardiologist to hear what he had to say about the heart readings I have been transmitting to them. He says that the fever I had was a virus that attacked my heart and damaged the lower chamber. He knows that much from the records from my hospital stay and the monitor I wore. I have to have a series of other tests so he can figure out how to fix the problem starting tomorrow and he said that maybe it could be controlled with a medications or, worst case scenario, a heart transplant, but that I am in good health otherwise so the outlook is good and no need to panic.... Really, the "episodes" aren't painful, just uncomfortable, and I'm sure I will get through this.
I'm going to drop my Broadband service for a while, I don't have a decent PC right now and have internet access on my phone although I can't seem to access this site from the phone. I'll have to find a blogsite that I can get to and move this or something.....
Jess has been disillusioned about her father lately, she can be a bit slow about some things, but it is good in the long run that she understand what a pitiful human he is and just stop expecting anything from him. I tell them to pity him that he has never really loved anyone and has no clue what it feels like to love anyone nor any appreciation for those who are unfortunate enough to love him. That has to be a no-life life. I would feel terrible that I wasted so many years with him but I don't see it that way because I realized how small a part he really played in our 22 years together. If someone asks about my X I immediately think of Jim, it is like Clown Shoes never happened . Jeanette told me the other day that she has at times since she was little been jealous of Jami having Jim for a father!! I told her that Jim wishes they were all his, too, and loves them all, and he does. He has his problems, but loving the kids has never been one of them. I have a lot of respect for Jim and really enjoy the relationship we have now and I love that he has Teresa and I have Jeremy and we all get along, one big happy family that takes care of each other however we can as it should be.
OK. I'm outa here.
I'm going to drop my Broadband service for a while, I don't have a decent PC right now and have internet access on my phone although I can't seem to access this site from the phone. I'll have to find a blogsite that I can get to and move this or something.....
Jess has been disillusioned about her father lately, she can be a bit slow about some things, but it is good in the long run that she understand what a pitiful human he is and just stop expecting anything from him. I tell them to pity him that he has never really loved anyone and has no clue what it feels like to love anyone nor any appreciation for those who are unfortunate enough to love him. That has to be a no-life life. I would feel terrible that I wasted so many years with him but I don't see it that way because I realized how small a part he really played in our 22 years together. If someone asks about my X I immediately think of Jim, it is like Clown Shoes never happened . Jeanette told me the other day that she has at times since she was little been jealous of Jami having Jim for a father!! I told her that Jim wishes they were all his, too, and loves them all, and he does. He has his problems, but loving the kids has never been one of them. I have a lot of respect for Jim and really enjoy the relationship we have now and I love that he has Teresa and I have Jeremy and we all get along, one big happy family that takes care of each other however we can as it should be.
OK. I'm outa here.
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