Scopes

I had my upper/lower endoscopy yesterday, I'll get the results in 5 days. I'm afraid there is going to be some kind of cancer in the stomach or esophagus areas, about 80% sure there will be some kind of bad news. I can't see how I'm going to feel about or react to whatever the news is. I've been through expecting a Dr to find some kind of cancer several times. I Did have a small skin cancer a few years ago - and I knew that's what it was before I saw a Dr and had it removed. I also have precancerous polyps removed from my colon every couple of years the last 30 years.

My digestive system has been bad for a While. Terrible heartburn, unable to eat more than a few bites sometimes,  drowning in vomit at night, nausea, pain, not good stuff! 

I guess I wait 5 days to Know.  I dread that it might need a drastic procedure that causes them to remove my esophagus and/or stomach. Or parts of them.  Completely alter my life, make it even more difficult to survive. The whole possible death thing, I can't really see how that news would feel.