Family has been my whole world. I have considered many family who I e had to discard, some drifted away, and some joined my family rising to become Some of the Best.
Rob was my family all his teen years and into adulthood but I lost him when he got lost in meth. Hr hurt me deeply during his drug years, as deeply as anyone has ever hurt me. When he said it was over I held back for years watching him. Making sure. Many people have claimed to be off drugs but actually only hid it better. When I first started seeing his girlfriend Tiff at school functions for our kids I stood back and just watched. Her son Jet is the same age/grade as Kira and Jazz. I started making sure I stood near her at school functions, at first to eavesdrop on her interactions with others and then I slowly started speaking to her. Jeanette noticed and I told her I was just doing it to get a reaction out of Rob to not be labeled a traitor talking to the ex's girl and it was actually the truth.
Tiffany didn't rebuff me at All. For a couple of years we would talk about whatever the kids were doing and I had to throw out my old prejudiced to really see who I was talking to. She was a very involved and loving mother to Jet. She also constantly expressed interest in not only Robs children but also mine, his nieces. After a few years of this I started greeting Rob when he came to school functions too. This was hard for me at first and a little fake. What I saw in Rob was a huge relief that I was being friendly and an almost desperate searching for the huge love I had for him Before. We used to say "fake it till you make it" in salesmanship. I remember the day I realized I was no longer faking a connection with Rob. We were at a trampoline place for a kids party and I said something about shoveling my driveway and Rob said, "Hey!I'll still come shovel for you anytime!" And the wall I had erected so I couldnt feel the love we had before started to crumble a little.
After that all pretense was gone, I knew I truly was starting to care for him again. Tiffany was just too good to be true to me. (Oh wow. 2025, I knit tour was absolutely Not True!! Scheming Bitch!!) I struggled accepting who she seemed to be for another year but she kept pushing through all my preconceived notions about her and I started wondering if she might actually be ok. (2025 - She WASN'T/ISN'T!)
Jeanette never really warmed up to Tiff but even she admitted many times that she felt that Tiff was good for her kids. She even stated once that Tiffany was the reason she trusted her children visiting their father. (2025 - We bitterly laughed about this last week!)
Then this BOMB exploded between Jeanette and Jenise last March. It blew up our whole family as it relates to Jeanette. I was told to get Jenise and keep her. I told Jeanette that instead I had called Rob and Tiff to step in because, well I'm sick and old. I asked Jeanette if that was ok and she didnt respond but I assumed it was ok with her. (2025 - NEVER ASSUME!) Just three months ago Jeanette had sent the kids to Rob and Tiff for Christmas stating she and David couldnt afford to give them Christmas. Rob and Tiff stepped in and did magnificently by the kids.
Now, Rob, Tiff and I have been lumped together and vilified by Jeanette publicly for Months, and Vilified isn't nearly stong enough a word for it!!
It has been one of the worst experiences of my life an I have no clue how to fix it because I'm not sure exactly what I did wrong.
Rob was my family all his teen years and into adulthood but I lost him when he got lost in meth. Hr hurt me deeply during his drug years, as deeply as anyone has ever hurt me. When he said it was over I held back for years watching him. Making sure. Many people have claimed to be off drugs but actually only hid it better. When I first started seeing his girlfriend Tiff at school functions for our kids I stood back and just watched. Her son Jet is the same age/grade as Kira and Jazz. I started making sure I stood near her at school functions, at first to eavesdrop on her interactions with others and then I slowly started speaking to her. Jeanette noticed and I told her I was just doing it to get a reaction out of Rob to not be labeled a traitor talking to the ex's girl and it was actually the truth.
Tiffany didn't rebuff me at All. For a couple of years we would talk about whatever the kids were doing and I had to throw out my old prejudiced to really see who I was talking to. She was a very involved and loving mother to Jet. She also constantly expressed interest in not only Robs children but also mine, his nieces. After a few years of this I started greeting Rob when he came to school functions too. This was hard for me at first and a little fake. What I saw in Rob was a huge relief that I was being friendly and an almost desperate searching for the huge love I had for him Before. We used to say "fake it till you make it" in salesmanship. I remember the day I realized I was no longer faking a connection with Rob. We were at a trampoline place for a kids party and I said something about shoveling my driveway and Rob said, "Hey!I'll still come shovel for you anytime!" And the wall I had erected so I couldnt feel the love we had before started to crumble a little.
After that all pretense was gone, I knew I truly was starting to care for him again. Tiffany was just too good to be true to me. (Oh wow. 2025, I knit tour was absolutely Not True!! Scheming Bitch!!) I struggled accepting who she seemed to be for another year but she kept pushing through all my preconceived notions about her and I started wondering if she might actually be ok. (2025 - She WASN'T/ISN'T!)
Jeanette never really warmed up to Tiff but even she admitted many times that she felt that Tiff was good for her kids. She even stated once that Tiffany was the reason she trusted her children visiting their father. (2025 - We bitterly laughed about this last week!)
Then this BOMB exploded between Jeanette and Jenise last March. It blew up our whole family as it relates to Jeanette. I was told to get Jenise and keep her. I told Jeanette that instead I had called Rob and Tiff to step in because, well I'm sick and old. I asked Jeanette if that was ok and she didnt respond but I assumed it was ok with her. (2025 - NEVER ASSUME!) Just three months ago Jeanette had sent the kids to Rob and Tiff for Christmas stating she and David couldnt afford to give them Christmas. Rob and Tiff stepped in and did magnificently by the kids.
Now, Rob, Tiff and I have been lumped together and vilified by Jeanette publicly for Months, and Vilified isn't nearly stong enough a word for it!!
It has been one of the worst experiences of my life an I have no clue how to fix it because I'm not sure exactly what I did wrong.
Rob and Tiff still have Jenise and she is doing ok.
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