I believe at some point I stopped making plans for the future almost completely. I stopped making shopping lists, plans to pay bills or do almost anything. If this started before the pandemic then the pandemic certainly made it worse. I'm not sure why I stopped, I only today realized that planning wasn't in my head at all. One day at a time has its merits but definitely isn't serving my family well.
I think being sick and disabled plays a big part in this but I also believe I can do better. NEED to do better.
It doesn't help at all that my memory has gotten so bad that today I felt like making any kind of plans was totally foreign to me.
I also seem to live in an exaggerated state of Hopelessness that started with my COPD and heart condition diagnoses and was stopped of by the depression following losing Jessalynn last Christmas. That makes it probably at least almost a year like this.
This should be something I can fix or at least do better at. Maybe start writing again, lists of things to do, that need done and maybe daily journaling to keep track of plans and remember them.
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