Still overall feeling better 😊

I'm doing pretty well these days! I don't seem to get a lot more done but I feel a lot more active. I've been walking Nova more and done a little cleaning. The main physical issue I have to deal with is nausea but I did schedule an appointment with a UNMC gastrointestinal doctor. Unfortunately the soonest appointment I could get was June 24th but time flies. When Grammy was 99 years old she talked about how time goes faster every year and it is So True. At 99 her days probably felt like 10 minutes because for me at 65 it feels like most days are only a few hours long! 

Not having a car right now really sucks. Our finances in general suck but

We've been through and survived worse for sure!!!

I am sure that a lot of feeling better is feeling LOVED lately. I have Jess taking care of me with Jeremy also doing everything he can and some Awesome grandchildren.  Especially my Jenise. She always seems so genuinely happy to see me it just makes my whole world brighter. 

I deeply regret that my mother didn't feel this love and care more! The little good time I had to take care of her and show her caring love was so short. I live for the memory of Mom's face when I would make her a special snack or treat. Now, it is sad that she said "I'm sorry for never noticing how nice you are!" but it also felt good at the time. And it has to be my fault that she didn't know me. 

I used to Beg her to move to Omaha with me so I could take care of her but she would say yes and then call and say she just couldn't picture leaving Texas and the Japanese people she had there. Only 3 of them showed up for her funeral but many had died already or they drifted apart. But my last 7 years with Steve really sucked. I should have gone to her sooner. 

So I feel a little guilty with the richness of the care I have now even though I know she is happy that I do. Mom was so worried about dying when I had no one but Jeremy. She made me promise to stay with him saying that he had "honest eyes " and would never abandon me. She was right about that but I've ended up with so much more.