I really was sure that we were going to get hit by a tornado last night because I don't have house insurance right not and we had a tornado warning in Omaha.  But here we are,  still in Kansas,  and I need to figure out getting homeowners insurance!!

So Much is going wrong with this house!! I worry that Jeanette is regretting moving in because the house failures effect her the most.  The basement is flooding in new places besides the leak we knew about by her room.  The floor drain doesn't work so she has the washer rigged to go down the bathroom drain down there but several times it has accidently drained on the floor.  I think the boys have been kicking the drain hose loose. Yesterday Jeanette figured out draining the kitchen sink and dishwasher to go out a hose to the back yard which is temporarily wonderful! I might have inadvertently caused the new basement leak by the boys rooms. It is the wall below where I started the asparagus garden.  I pulled all of the weeds there and transplanted the asparagus and strawberries there and maybe the weeds were groundcover that made the rain run away from the house.  ?? And maybe not cleaning the gutters contributed? Another thing I need to get done!? I was watering the asparagus when we first noticed the leak.  I won't do that again but the asparagus will all die if I move it now so I plan to leave it and just not water it until fall unless I get someone who will dig down there and fix the leak in the wall.  I don't know.  So Much needs done!! Also,  when I was digging that garden I noticed a lot of empty space like moles had been digging there. The might be part of the problem.  Then there is still the deadly gas leak,  a thousand dollar join that HAS to be done.  Two cars not running at all, 2 that barely run,  Oh My it's all just too much!! Having Jeanette here helping me pay for everything is my only hope of saving this house but So Much trouble and stress for her!! Then there is Jess, who I always live in fear of over stressing,  now cleaning up after now people with a messed up kitchen sink.  Oh and the laundry issue.  Jess and the girls but Feel like they are invading Jeanette and the boys space whenever they have to go down and do laundry even though they all have bedrooms and we just need to go down the hallway to her to the washer and then too the laundry room to use the dryer.  I understand their discomfort but they will just have to her used to it until the floor drain is fixed which will be Thousands of dollars to do and will likely involve tearing up their newly built rooms down there. 

Dealing with all of that I am also still trying to put in a vegetable garden this year.  Besides the problems with the asparagus garden I also have to move where I gardened last year away from the neighbor being hateful. I'm going to leave a couple of feet next to the fence, probably just plant marigolds there,  because she uses poisons in her yard and I doubt she cares about if she is poisoning us. 

I'm considerably weaker this summer.  I have a lot more breathing trouble and have lost a lot of muscle mass in the last year.  I'm working on that.  I have the daily little walk with Jess and our dogs and now I have a neighbor man offering to let me join him for post off his walks. His name is Edmund and he walks 2 miles a day but has figured in a way to walk 1 mile off it with me starting tomorrow.  That should help greatly! And Dr. Gold is doing treatments to help with my knee, hip, and back pain that is helping my mobility issues.  The breathing, yes, I mostly need to quit smoking but just can't see dealing with that stress right now and, yes, I know that is an addiction excuse. I say At least it's not anything like a Meth addiction,  not illegal yet, and I also say stupid things in my head like,  Why am I trying to extend my life?! I know there is a glorious afterlife where a LOT of the people I love are waiting for me.  I know there are people who might feel better off when I am gone. Jessalynn will be around more and likely happy that I'm not a problem.  Brandon will be relieved that the people whose lives I control are free. Joey will celebrate. Having Jessalynn will make Jess happy and I have no clue if Jess even loves me. She Believes so many terrible things about me that aren't even true,  just like Jami, from their addiction brains. Jess doesn't do meth any more but still hangs onto a lot of the thinking that she had on meth. She chooses Jeremy over me,  that still stuns me!! I love Jeremy, too, but I remember Years of his supporters deeply Hating him and trying to make my life miserable because I let him stay. Back to it.  There are definitely people who will truly miss me when I am gone.  Jeremy is one of them.  Jeanette will clearly mourn me, and Jami and Jess will in ways they don't even realize now.  Kira, too. Maybe Jazz?? She is always a mystery. Lindsey will go into a tailspin, I really hope someone helps her deal with it! Jenise, Riley and Robby will feel gut punched. My brother will feel like what he will become,  the last man standing. What I will be if he goes first!! Wow. All of that for the stop smoking thing! 

It's past time for the walk with Jess. She is impatiently waiting.