Jami

Just here to organize my thoughts maybe.  Dave says Jami wants to return.  Of course.  But there is that Why in the hell did she leave like she did? 

When I would say Mike couldn't live here her angry response was "Fine. WE'LL leave." Or that last time,  "But Mom he's doing everything he can" I'm still mulling that unbelievable response.  I said that wasn't at all my problem. How could she not see that before I said it??  It is all just weird to say the least. Mike was overheard telling her that she was supposed to"take care of this" before he got out.  Take care of what?? And did she really believe that him staying here would go unnoticed or just become ok?? Gaslight.  I'm seeing that term new to me has described how she has handled me for years.  Always trying to tell me that orange is purple.  He's NOT here every day.  We imagine that.  When the truth is just so obvious - if he wasn't living here then why did she have to go find a place for them to leave?? Couldn't he just go home?? 

No.  He has no home.  So she chose to go be homeless with him because she couldn't bear to be away from Adamay. That was that gas light.  Of course it was all about Mike.  

He got out unexpectedly.  Then Jami should have stayed put,  we were already putting up with Adamay being here,  and Mike should have found somewhere to stay while he got set up.  Maybe get an actual home. Who knows?? But no.  She angrily left.  

And now she wants to come back.  

It just feels ridiculous to even be considering this after that. 

Negatives:

1) Jami has trashed whatever room or space she has ever used in one of my homes.  

She made a mess in the space she was given in the basement.  Then Shy moved out (with what of her things she could find) and Jami moved to her space leaving junk in Space#1. Then Jeremy moved out and she took over his space.  Result: Entire basement trashed.

2) Jami and her friends smoke meth in the basement which everyone smells and knows about but she hotly denies it.  And while Mike was here there was not only the smell of cigarettes down there but a glass was brought up with a butt in it. That is hotly denied  too.

3) Jami had a history of having people live in her space/ room that aren't supposed to be in the house, "sneaking them" in and out like a teenager breaking rules.  

4) Jami invites people into the house,  welcomes,  people who use and sell drugs.  

5) Jami doesn't work or even apply for SSI, no plans to be able to contribute or take care of herself.  

6) Jami has no respect for what Jess has to do to keep our home clean. Doesn't even bring up her dirty dishes most of the time and then leaves them crusted with old food for Jess although I try to take care of them before Jess even sees them.  

7) If I try to assign her "chores" to help out she just doesn't.  I asked that she sweep the basement every day.  She didn't.  I asked her to keep the laundry room clean for us.  She didn't.

8) She keeps druggie hours, out after midnight a lot,  (Nothing good ever happens after 2am)

9) Her temper frightens people. 

10) THE BIG ONE: She has Kira seeing her choose drugs and people over being with her over and over again.  This was just the last of many,  a lifetime of this for Kira.

Now, reasons to say Yes:

I worry about what will happen to her homeless. 

Now that is just sad. 

No one but Jami benefits from her being with us and being with us is harmful and negative for everyone except her.