Friday Morning

Slept poorly as usual. It is crazy to wake up every hour or so either because of pain or having to go to the bathroom or both. I feel like a walking zombie most of the time walking around (and driving!) in a foggy haze. I have to find some solutions to this non-life! I am working on parts of it. The peeing every two hours is being treated by a good Urologist who is doing weekly infusions (you don't want to know what that is!) The pain. Well. I don't know if anyone is ever going to help me with that again since my last doctor lost his license after prescribing Oxycontin for a young man who said he was in so much pain he didn't want to live and the man went home and overdosed on the Oxycontin and died. The next thing you know every doctor for miles and miles is terrified to prescribe any kind of narcotic for pain especially the long lasting Oxycontin that I, too, was taking but I took them as prescribed and had the first relief from pain in my life. I got to enjoy life for about six months and poof! I'm back to the old non-life. I still can enjoy my life but not like I did for those six months!! I could play with my grandchildren and I went to a concert and just lived like other people. Last week I saw a new pain specialist who I heard would prescribe Oxycontin but he turned out to be a good friend of my current doctor and refused to take me as a patient although he did say he would suggest a long acting pain medication for me to my doctor, Dr. Youngblood. Youngblood believes pretty much solely in using Methadone for pain which lasts about four hours for me if it works at all and it makes me jump and jerk convulsively in my sleep waking me up all night. I told him about the convulsive movements and he just prescribed a muscle relaxer to control them but it doesn't work. I tell him how often I wake in pain and he gives me sleeping pills that do nothing. I sometimes joke that I am going to have to start using street drugs but as I get older and the pain gets worse I fear it won't be a joke for long if no one helps me. Enough of that.
I have no real plans for today except to get some money out of the bank for Jami to go to the dentist and get a tooth pulled. The drugs, mostly the meth, have devastated her teeth but she still won't quit. She had sadly become this family's poster child for not doing drugs. Only thirty years old and her teeth are just falling out. I pray every day for a way to save her before the drugs or the MRSA kill her.