Gone

 It's always odd dealing with Major Change, when your world is altered. There isn't a lot to miss with Jeremy leaving because he's just sat on the couch for the last 2 years.  Now old habits need to be broken.  I still glance at where he sat on this couch when I walk by and am surprised that he isn't there.  It's not so much missing him but it can feel like something is missing from the old picture.  Like How long will that be thought of as His spot.  He's been with us 22 years. 

I might start feeling pity for him,  a lingering habit like checking his spot,  but I turn it off when it first starts.  Yes, he is pity worthy.  Most of his screw ups are brain damage. Not that he is always unaware of what he does and  says that is is bad or wrong.  He never admits to anything but his face will show his guilt. Like when he lays hands on people, strikes a child. Often in those moments some part of him believes that he has the Right to do whatever he does but he is very aware that there will be consequences.  If anyone saw it and I am not there,  he will begin begging them not to tell me about it.  

He is in his late 40s but behavior like that sounds like I am talking about a child of mine.  Don't tell Mom!! 

If I am there or find out later, he always starts with a denial. I didn't see what i say I saw. It was an accident. He were just playing. Then he starts giving his Reasons for Hitting, Pushing, Pointing a Knife, wrecking the car. Then it is someone else's fault if it happened at all. 

Update:

What he did was called "gaslighting"                       I just learned that term.