Bathing

 It has become so hard to bathe!! I am going to make or buy something like Mormon temple garments so I don't have to sit naked when I start actually needing help bathing.  I guess I'm already there,  been there,  but I want my garments or something.  A little dignity.  

I can just die.  I've known that for a while.  All my worry,  How will they take care of themselves?? How well they keep this house?? I'm calling BS on myself there. If i had died in that crash or any time,  every one would survive or they wouldn't.  I didn't own a home most of my life and none of them ever have.  And they survive.  I would have just left it in Jeremy's name if I was sure he'd outlive me and his family wouldn't end up with our house, he didn't want that either!! and there is no guarantee that he will outlive me.  I have hope that Jeanette will step in and save the house.  If not,  well, they will all survive however they are meant to.  

No.  I'm not suicidal.  But I stopped really fighting a long time ago. I've made some effort to live to meet Elliot, and,  barring a new disaster! I believe I will.  

Now.  I've put clean sheets on my bed.  I forgot about having a blanket ready but again,  oh well!!