With a jaundiced eye

 That term seems to fit the way I look at future plans,  ideas, hope. On the surface.  I think about next year's garden,  always mentally figuring in that it is unlikely that I will be here to plant one.  Or harvest one if I do get one planted.  It seems more being realistic that being fatalistic. This is fed by my utter amazement that I am still here today! Does any one really plan on living into old age? I know that people make plans for in case they do,  but do some people actually see an expected Old Age? Steve's sister Judy would talk about us all being old together on a porch passing a joint.  It was a joke,  but was it also a future she actually Saw? She's dead now. Steve, Cleo, and I are still alive from the intended porch group.  I'm pretty sure Steve, like me, never really expected to see old age! We looked at his family history and it looked like almost all of the men died "young" except an Uncle Johnny he thought was still alive.  My family history looked equally grim, especially for the males in both families.  But.  I'm still here.  67. When I read that a new medication might have side effects I always consider the timeline now.  Weigh expected time left figuring in medication benefit before the possible side effects might happen. Years ago I stopped using Afrin nasal spray after seeing a Doctors episode showing the long term damage,  what the woman's sinuses looked like after 20 years. I'll be 87 in 20 years!! Doubt anyone is going to be checking my sinus cavities!! Might as well be able to Breathe Through My Nose as longs as I AM here!! It often goes back to a Doug Heffernan quote from King of Queens: "WHATS THE POINT OF LIVING ANOTHER 20 YEARS IF YOU HAVEN'T ENJOYED A SINGLE BITE OF FOOD!?"?? (Dieting)

What's the point.  Is that seeing thru a "jaundiced eye"?? It sounds more like weighing very real different realities!