ER - DID THAT

 Yea,  it got so bad I actually went.  The thrush started blocking my throat,  breathing and swallowing were becoming a thing of the past,  and I wasn't quite ready to Be a thing of the past.   

One small thing - I lied about what might have caused my condition.  I wanted it treated right away without any time delay complications.  I know thrush This Bad without a direct cause i.e. steroid or antibiotic use,  can be a big Red Flag. I will make an appointment soon to look for those little details.  I wanted/ needed immediate help with the immediate issue. I have 3 weeks of medications to keep this under control until I can take care of whatever tests I need.  I don't have HIV, cancer,  maybe??,  (could explain the weight loss!) but the most likely culprit would be that my glucose is off again.  I'll start testing for that myself today.  

But oh oh oh!! This Dr, Lauren at Benson CHI isn't my favorite, even tho I have to admit she is one of the most thorough in urgent care, and maybe the most current on medication and some disease information,  but she gave me the diflucan i4 always have to fight to get AND she recommended that I try Clortrimizan Lozenges instead of the normal nistatin. First,  it tastes SO MUCH better than nistatin!!! (like those old candy cigarettes!😀) but I believe it might work better, too! I didn't even know that athletes foot cream came in pill form or that it would be delicious!!  The pain was Way Less right away but kicked back up after a couple of hours and I was sad about that until I looked and saw that they are a 5 times a day med!!! I told Jeanette right away,  she has yeast problems even worse than me! and she hasn't heard of it either.  She jumped right on that detail that I shouldn't even have this issue this badly.  But she also went straight to me needing glucose testing.  Whatever.  Maybe this will help both of us.  

I do get thrush from time to time but this was different. I was driving yesterday and my back hurt terrible and then my lower abdomen until I realized that the familiar feeling was Exactly like menstrual cramps with a bad yeast  infection + endometriosis, except I don't have a uterus or ovaries or, hopefully! endometriosis.  Hmm. Need more government funding for research.  

Triple dose of stress ~ I AM BROKE.  Not a little short on cash.  BROKE. Need to get out on a street corner with a sign BROKE. I've even been figuring out what verbage I would use for my sign.  Kira put gas in the van last night,  Jazz already did,  and there are 5 days of this month left...  I just HATE THIS. Paying the house insurance at $530 a month is killing me and as soon as I finish that for the year I have to find $1400 for property taxes in July and then in a few months I'll have to start paying on the next $2500 house insurance!!!!! I know i need to get some kind of a job but that is not possible with being Uber for the girls.  They plan to buy cars (with the money they have saved while I've gone broke!!) by September but I don't think either of them can see the reality of buying their own gasoline,  car insurance,  and car maintenance and I will be asked to help them or keep driving them after September.  Hoping that Jessalynn would some day pay that forward was so ridiculous!! SHE doesn't grasp or care that I was even helping her. Ever. I just needed to mature and learn to talk and think like an adult like her. Patronizing says it all.  (Yes. I knew who/ what she was long ago. I just need to Stop thinking that people will rise above who they have been.  Foolish.) (The only way she Rose Above was to get a clear view of looking down on me! 🤣) kira is a bit like her but more honest about it and innocent in her thinking.  Kira tells me it is my OBLIGATION to drive them so they can make money, and she truly believes that! which tops just not giving a shit. Jeanette, Jazz, Jenise and even Riley  understand a little gratitude.   So I myself don't mind doing with even less to help them! But there is no robbing Peter to pay Paul even possible right now. Peter, Paul, and Mary are broke.  So WHAT TO DO. And of course Jeanette's car is broke down right now!! Jenise and Phillip have been helping her but they might not be able to after tomorrow.  I used to borrow from Meezy, and pay him back!! but he unfairly acts like JESS owes him if he helps me,  anything to get his hooks back in her!!     I am probably going to try to make a deal with Jazz but only if I can make it profitable to her in the long run,  pay her a high interest on the loan.  I have things I can sell,  maybe make an Ebay store? but that's not immediate help.  I'll also find out when Jami gets paid and I know Dave will come up with whatever he can.  He should be able to start working again but I don't think he'll get daily pay! So. Here. I. Sit.  Yea! I've lived to 67!!  BOO! HISS! It's Way More 😩 than joy!!