Today I became Aware

 of how vulnerable I truly am. Almost helpless.  The van started overheating.  It would shoot up to 250 degrees within a few blocks so I drove home from 50th and Ames stopping every few blocks to let the motor cool.  It was 100 degrees today,  too hot to have the windows down.  Also too hot to have the heat full blast,  but I did to try to keep the motor cool. And there I sat, pausing over and over in places I would never choose to be,  old, can barely walk,  no weapons or even mace.  Alone. When finally got home I just shut myself in my room and cried.  Horrified that I had been afraid.  And Aware. 

Reality truly sucks.