Rain

 Yep, finally rain.  I guess I am ready for it.  I have to take a break before I am totally broken.  I often feel totally betrayed by my body and then I realize it is almost 67 years old and I marvel a little bit that it works at all. How many things do I have that old that still work?? That weird white Christmas candle might last 67 years!! 

I'll probably start some seeds, piddle around,  chat with Jeremy, take care of some overdue business like paying bills and updating applications, and hopefully clear up some of my gardening mess in the dining room. And a lot of laying around like broccoli (vegetating) 🙃

I will miss being able to be out in my garden.  Yesterday I sat down in a pile of soil that I have been moving to my raised beds,  and I realized how happy I was just sitting in a pile of dirt.  I was digging around me with a hand shovel looking for good top soil to put in my potato growing boxes and removing sticks for my compost and I was Happy. My arm might be broken,  (from a fall yesterday!), my knee is trashed and hurts like it is broken,  (probably will make an appointment to scan both while I'm laying around) and I was just 😊.  I talk to myself constantly while I work.  Not bitching about the past like at first (which was good for nothing!!) but just rambling.  If Gabriella is with me I act like I'm talking to her, to maybe make me look less crazy! (Not that I care if I look crazy!)  but I'm talking about whatever I am doing.  I haven't seem the movie "Babe" in decades but I keep saying,  "That'll do pig" every time I finish doing something! I had to Google to find out what movie it came from!! but yea, it seems to be my go-to phrase and it makes me smile a little every time so I keep doing it 🙃. Crazy Lady. Yep,  that's me!! Not shy about/ don't give a crap about admitting that because I know this Crazy Lady is one of the sanest people in my family, which makes me smile more! NOT that that's actually funny that we have So Many Crazies! but ok a little funny that a 66 year old lady with serious brain damage is one of the sanest!! Maybe that's only "funny" about the crazies who are crazy with living their delusions deliberately to defend their self righteous ignorant actions. That is hilariously bassackwards.  Maybe the wrong word there.  Self inflicted blindness is simply No Excuse. So people like that are just a joke.