Driving me crazy. It's been raining so I can't do much outside. I would just sleep away the days but the leg hurts so much! there is not a comfortable position. So I am neither awake or asleep.
A lot of driving Jazz and Kira. Feeling bad I have to ask them to help with gasoline again but again these are different times than when Jlynn was saving for a car. Keeping up with the household costs and the house insurance etc. is so hard to do!! Then add driving the girls over 600 miles a week... It's just to much. I told Dave how hard this is, that we have a huge water disconnect, and he said he would be out the next day and went downstairs. The next morning I told him I really didn't want that, what I WANT is for him to start bringing in money. He was so relieved!! He should have given me a minute more!! But he gets it now and, BONUS!, he got rid of the monstrosity in the entryway!! I was suggesting dragging it outside and taking an axe to it but he took the time to disassemble it and put the pieces out back where I can actually make use of some of it.
So. I need this gloomy weather to stop and I need my left leg functional again!!!!! I guess that's asking a lot?? This body is just getting too old, I know. My fear lately is that I will be nonfunctional but ALIVE still. What a cruel end!! and likely people wishing a cruel end on me. But that would be cruel on those around me, too, and hopefully no one wishes evil fit them!!
Oh and I really think things are better with Kira. I was afraid that it was fake nice at first but she really seems sincere. ??. I try very hard with her!! I know she's gotten the shit end of the stick in so many ways in her little life so far!! Yes, she can be rude and often lacks empathy or understanding, a lot of that in ways that she has no control over! but I believe she has a good heart that will out shine all of that with a lot of love and just some things going right for her.
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